antitherockstar
Sep 20, 2010
Writing Feedback / "a rusty old chain on tree" descriptive essay, help w/ introduction, conclusion,title [3]
i'm doing a descriptive essay for my english 111 class and i just need a title, and i need to know if my introduction is ok. and i need a way to conclude it. and any pointers on how i can improve it.
To someone who's never lived in my house they'd think I have an ordinary back yard. But to me my back yard is like a book where every page has a different story to tell and every sentence a happy memory.
Standing on the back porch you have a full view of the back yard. It's about an acre. Turning to the left the first thing you will notice is a rusty old truck. To any random person that's basically what it is. But what you wouldn't know about this rusty old truck is that my grand father used this truck in the 50s and 60s to tow junk cars in and out of the back yard. The tow truck also had a special front bumper used to push cars to the back of the yard to be work on and taken apart.
Behind the truck is a gumball tree with a huge chain and a hood wrapped around a branch. At first glance it looks like a rusty old chain on the tree, the branch has actually grown around the chain because its been there so long. When I look at this I think of the stores my family told about how the hook and chain were used to life engines out of cars. When I was younger, my cousins and I would take turns swinging on the hook and chain. By the tree with the hook there is a cement block in the ground. Now we use the block as a make shift basketball court. But when the block was put there it's purpose wasn't to entertain the children that were visiting. The cement block was put there to work on cars, because they didn't want the oils and everything to be absorbed in the grass.
Towards the very back of the yard is a garden. It looks like a regular old garden. I thought it was a regular old garden. But it's a very fertile part of land where the garden is. I thought it was just luck, but my mom told me the land in the very back of the yard has good soil, because my family used to have pigs and that helped the land. Behind the garden is a make shift tin fence, and if you turn to the left you can see this fence goes half way around the perimeter of the yard.
You can only see random chunks of this fence because trees and brush have grown in front of it over the years. But there's something from the fence that hasn't changed over the years is a pathway in the back corner of the yard. Its also where the fence ends. This path leads to an opening to the land next to ours, and to the right of this opening is what used to be my great grand parents house. My uncle lives there now and we still use the path way to get to his house.
To the back right of the yard there is debris and random car parts in the ground. Walking back there honestly isn't safe. Nothing grows back there and the dirt is black and scary. Its about 100 square feet of glass and car parts. Its like that because my grand father used to pile up cars back there after he and my uncles were done working with them. On the side of the house is a pump. Its an old one and once upon a time it was the houses only source of running water. I remember visiting my grand parents house and going outside to get water to cook and bathe with.
i'm doing a descriptive essay for my english 111 class and i just need a title, and i need to know if my introduction is ok. and i need a way to conclude it. and any pointers on how i can improve it.
To someone who's never lived in my house they'd think I have an ordinary back yard. But to me my back yard is like a book where every page has a different story to tell and every sentence a happy memory.
Standing on the back porch you have a full view of the back yard. It's about an acre. Turning to the left the first thing you will notice is a rusty old truck. To any random person that's basically what it is. But what you wouldn't know about this rusty old truck is that my grand father used this truck in the 50s and 60s to tow junk cars in and out of the back yard. The tow truck also had a special front bumper used to push cars to the back of the yard to be work on and taken apart.
Behind the truck is a gumball tree with a huge chain and a hood wrapped around a branch. At first glance it looks like a rusty old chain on the tree, the branch has actually grown around the chain because its been there so long. When I look at this I think of the stores my family told about how the hook and chain were used to life engines out of cars. When I was younger, my cousins and I would take turns swinging on the hook and chain. By the tree with the hook there is a cement block in the ground. Now we use the block as a make shift basketball court. But when the block was put there it's purpose wasn't to entertain the children that were visiting. The cement block was put there to work on cars, because they didn't want the oils and everything to be absorbed in the grass.
Towards the very back of the yard is a garden. It looks like a regular old garden. I thought it was a regular old garden. But it's a very fertile part of land where the garden is. I thought it was just luck, but my mom told me the land in the very back of the yard has good soil, because my family used to have pigs and that helped the land. Behind the garden is a make shift tin fence, and if you turn to the left you can see this fence goes half way around the perimeter of the yard.
You can only see random chunks of this fence because trees and brush have grown in front of it over the years. But there's something from the fence that hasn't changed over the years is a pathway in the back corner of the yard. Its also where the fence ends. This path leads to an opening to the land next to ours, and to the right of this opening is what used to be my great grand parents house. My uncle lives there now and we still use the path way to get to his house.
To the back right of the yard there is debris and random car parts in the ground. Walking back there honestly isn't safe. Nothing grows back there and the dirt is black and scary. Its about 100 square feet of glass and car parts. Its like that because my grand father used to pile up cars back there after he and my uncles were done working with them. On the side of the house is a pump. Its an old one and once upon a time it was the houses only source of running water. I remember visiting my grand parents house and going outside to get water to cook and bathe with.
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