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Posts by aspiring207
Joined: Sep 24, 2010
Last Post: Nov 4, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

Displayed posts: 4
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aspiring207   
Sep 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "competitive environment, world-class faculties" essay for University application [2]

How does the University of Chicago satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community and future?please adress with specificity yuor own wishes and how they relate to chicago. (one or two pages)

When i was researching at the beggining of my senior year about possible universities, I came across University of Chicago profile on the collegeboard. I started looking for details in the university website regarding the University and I found that it is exactly what I am looking for. University of Chicago has so many opportunities for me, and not just in academics. Diverse student body, athletics and even fun University traditions.

I was born in Indonesia and I am of Indian descent. All my life I have been in a diverse, multi-cultural environment. I have Indonesian, Chinese and Indian friends in my high school and I found that being friends with people from different backgrounds is really fun. My friends and I, when we celebreate our respective tradition, we tell each other our experiences and it's really fun. That is why I am attracted to University of Chicago, it has a diverse student body, more diverse than my high school, so I am really looking forward to be friends with many different people.

I like to be in a competitive learning environment. It motivates me to push myself . I found that University of Chicago is very selective so I am expecting myself to be studying with some of the finest students from around the world. Being competitive allows me to see myself and make myself better in important things like time managment, responsibilites, co-operation, etc. I look forward to improve myself while learning in the University.

In my high school, there are very few extra curricular ectivties but I didn't let that stop me from doing what I enjoy. I take part in debate competitions, dancing during Halloween or any other occasions. My school offers extra-curricular activties in sports like badminton, basketball and I actively take part in them. I also play a little bit of guitar which I learnt outside of my school since my school doen't offer guitar lessons. I am looking forward to doing some extra-curricular activities in the University like student organisations, sports and even the various University tradition like Summer breeze concert, Scavenger Hunt, etc.

I prefer university of Chicago beacuse I think that it is the perfect University for me. It has all the aspects of University that I am looking for. Ffridnly yet competitive environment, world-class faculties and professors, extra-surricular activities and a fun lifestyle, all in one place. If I am accepted, I am reallyy looking forward to enjoy my University life.

(forgive the spelling mistakes, I will correct it later)
aspiring207   
Sep 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / Saudi Arabia - one important thing about your country that you would change? [4]

you make a good point but the essay is not well developed. There are a few grammatical errors you need to correct...your essay is less about the rule of wearing the Abaya and more about freedom of women(which includes wearing Abaya). elaborate more. Your conclusion is repetitive. explain why wearing Abaya is not favourable and then in the conclusion talk about the freedom and how it relates to wearing the Abaya. Need a lot of work here. Good luck.
aspiring207   
Sep 29, 2010
Undergraduate / Common App Significant Experience: "Salvation" [4]

dialect, connecting me and my hometown-there should not be a punctuation between dialect and connecting...

searche engines-spelling mistake

It's an amazing essay, the essay can capture the reader's attention. I don't think you need to change anything but I would suggest you proofread it and figure out the punctuations.
aspiring207   
Nov 4, 2010
Undergraduate / NYU Personal stat: criminal law, area of study and a person I would bring to life [2]

what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline?

The courses that I am most likely to select is sociology. I am interested in sociology as I want to learn basic human nature and their social interaction. I want to study the behaviour of people, factors that affects their thinking patterns and the external forces influencing their decision making. Also, courses in sociology will help me in case I choose to make a career in criminal law.I may also choose pre-law.

If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

If I could bring a person, I would most probably bring my mother to my ancestral home. My mother died unexpectedly a few years ago so there are a few things left unsaid. I would just sit down and share all the experiences that I've had since she passed away and say things that I didn't have the chance to say before. I would share my ambition since I didn't have an absolute one until a few months ago. I would share how I felt about her and tell her that everything is just fine and that I love her.
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