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Posts by storm94
Joined: Sep 27, 2010
Last Post: Jun 2, 2011
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storm94   
Apr 2, 2011
Undergraduate / "business or science" - past life experiences, group collaboration, diversity [2]

MSU Prompt #2
2) If admitted to Michigan State, you will join a diverse community of students, faculty, staff, and alumni. Please respond to the following hypothetical situation: In your first semester English Course you are assigned to a group is comprised of five other students, some of whom are from different countries and/or have different racial/ethnic backgrounds than you. Please explain how your past life experiences will help you effectively collaborate with your group members in order to achieve success on this project.

There were 30 seconds left on the clock. My friend Josh laterolled me the ball as he swept past , pausing slightly to make the transaction. Being the size of an average sixth grader, I had no idea how I was going to get past five gigantic eighth graders who loomed over me.

Then, out of nowhere, four of my teammates swept in front of me as I wiped the sweat off my brow. They startled and confused me but I overcame them. I looked attentively at both of my friends, each an opposite sides of me. My friend Robert and my friend chase each exchanged glances for a split second. Then I bounce-passed the ball to Robert. While Robert was maneuvering between the five looming masses, Chase cut towards the hoop. In a rush, Robert chucked the ball towards the basketball hoop but clanged the ball of the head of the rim. Robert let out a screech of anguish, paralyzed by his failure. However, Chase made a rebound off the ball at the last minute, covering for Robert's inaccurate shot. Chose gently tossed the ball at the hoop with an easy motion for a lay-up. The ball swished through the net, just as the buzzer went off.

Because of this experience, I know what diversity is about, and how it could contribute to my skills as a better asset to the group. Human society is very much more like this basketball game. I, an oversized Indian, working with Robert who is of German descent, and Chase, who is Polish. The more the world works like our game, the more we can benefit from diversity. My ability to work in any group would be what makes me a wonderful asset to both in completing the group assignment and to MSU. Society needs to be more diverse and diverse humans need to learn to work together. It is our diversity that helps us overcome great obstacles, and in the case of this potential group assignment, cooperation and effectiveness. The process of having these qualities will prove to be a tough hurdle for most people, but I am certain that my diversified personality will help me to be successful.

Throughout my high school career, I have been contemplating whether to pursue business or science. By choosing science, I now do a lot of group work and I must work with others to compare our theories to reach a plausible hypotheses. I could have taken two paths: one involving intense teamwork with people that I do not know and one involving lengthy work by myself. I chose the science field because helping people less fortunate is my cup of tea, regardless of which specific field I choose, and I decided to work collaboratively with people, rather than by myself.

-I wanted to know if this was good in terms of content, word choice, and if I answered the prompt correctly and effectively.
storm94   
May 17, 2011
Writing Feedback / "It is an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be teamwork" [3]

I don't really like this sentence. " World has witnessed a notable change in all fields,productive to humankind ." try adding a "The at the beginning of the sentence, and take out the comma before productive.

temperorery --->temporary (I would just get rid of the word, since solutions are always sought to be concrete and ever-lasting, not open to criticism.

Overall, good essay, although I found that it was vague in means of stating what the individual can do to influence the larger group, and how that influences innovation across society. Just a few mechanical errors, such as a space after the period in the last sentence and such. No biggie:)
storm94   
May 17, 2011
Book Reports / Literary Analysis of "A Family Supper" [4]

I put in only the three body paragraphs, so as not to burden you guys with reading the whole darn thing. Can you please check for mechanical errors, you don't need to care about the story. It's basically a story about a Japanese guy who lived in America and has come back to Japan in order to attend the funeral of his mother, and is now conflicted in whether or not to stay in Japan or to go back to America. Each side has its flaws. We're supposed to critically analyse or break down the story. The main character is the narrator:

The narrator's father appears to be a man who values family honor, tradition, and is very strict. He values integrity and believes strongly in his family. Upon the narrator's arrival, the father suggests considerably, "You must be hungry. We'll eat as soon as Kikuko arrives." (Ishiguro 632) This quote shows how collectivist and interdependent the father's Japanese morals are. It is in the Japanese culture to wait and eat as a family, one that is barely seen in the busy American culture. The Japanese put an immense amount of stress in family honor. They wait around dependently in order to preserve the family during eating. The father also values ethics. "We were partners for seventeen years. A man of principle and honor. I respected him very much." (632) This quote is saying clearly, that the father appreciates a strong sense of right and wrong. He believes in upholding the honor in the family. This is part of the story almost makes it seem like the father was content with the idea of Watanabe killing himself because of the disgrace and dishonor that the old firm has put on the family. This dependence on the integrity of the family is now especially seen in the story. After the mother's death, the father became more concerned about the family.

The narrator's sister is the direct opposite of the narrator's father. She has a much more modernized character, who wants to be westernized. Kikuko starts to talk to the narrator and tells him almost immediately that she has a boyfriend. Obviously, having a boyfriend is not a prevalent theme in conservative Japan. She starts to act jittery when in the narrator's presence, solely for the reason that he is from America.

"I've been dying for a smoke for the last half-hour,' she said, lighting the cigarette.
'Then why didn't you smoke?'
She made a furtive gesture back toward the house, and then grinned mischievously.
'Oh I see,' I said.
'Guess what" I've got a boyfriend now.'
'Oh yes?'
Except I'm wondering what to do. I haven't made up my mind yet.'
'Quite understandable.'
'You see, he's making plans to go to America. He wants me to go with him as soon as I finish studying." (633)
This quote clearly states that Kikuko is trying to break free from old Japanese tradition. She has taken up smoking in order to look more western and to fit into a more Japanese society. The sister believes that there is still room for retribution for the narrator. She thinks that the narrator was much more better off because he was the first child, and not the second, which means that there were much less restrictions placed upon him then her.

'Mother never really blamed you, you know,' she said in a new voice. I remained silent. 'She always used to say to me how it was their fault, hers and Father's, for not bringing you up correctly. She used to tell me how much more careful they'd been with me, and that's why I was so good.' She looked up and the mischievous grin had returned to her face. 'Poor Mother,' she said." (634)

This quote shows that the sister is thinking that she would be better off leaving Japan and going to America. She feels that she is restricted, and would much rather go to America.

The narrator, on the other hand, doesn't know which decision to make. He is caught between joining his father and staying in Japan, or to go with his sister back to America. Each decision has a reason and an outcome. The narrator could either want to stay in Japan because he feels sorry for the family after the death of his mother, or he could go back to America and move on with his life.

"Are you going back to California?'
'I don't know. I'll have to see.'
'What happened to-to her? To Vicki?'
'That's all finished with,' I said. 'There's nothing much left for me now in California." (634)
This quote shows that the narrator resents California, and doesn't see anything left for him there.
However, there are negative sides to these choices as well. The narrator does not want to stay in Japan because he doesn't agree with the drastic punishments that the Japanese pay for dishonor. Having lived in America, the narrator knows of the injustices that it is capable of.

"Did he tell you about old Watanabe? What he did?'
'I heard he committed suicide.'
'Well, that wasn't all. He took his whole family with him. 'His wife and his two little girls.'
'Oh, yes?'
'Those two beautiful little girls. He turned on the gas while they were all asleep. Then he cut his stomach with a meat knife." (634)

The narrator now sees that even Japan has its downsides. He thinks that the level of importance that the Japanese give to honor is too high, and that he doesn't want to live in a place where his life is at stake for a mistake that could make which could dishonor him.

The narrator is stuck in a dilemma between what two sides he should take.
storm94   
Jun 2, 2011
Book Reports / Literary Analysis of "A Family Supper" [4]

Thanks, guys! I was really unsure of whether this paper would go through or not, so thanks for the nice comments!:)
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