Writing Feedback / The Value of Kindness in our society and in the world [3]

Hello... I found your esssay quite interesting. Was there a guidline or word limit? I think that the example about your grandmother giving you the jacket could be taken out. In the beginning you made some awesome points. The grammar also looks greart. On the down side I feel that essay is too long and perhaps has two many examples. In other words, it is hard to stay focused on one particular point, which happens to be kindness.

For example, the passage about UN meats...take that out. It seems irrevelant to your topic of kindness. That paragraph would be more fit for an environmental essay.

I hope that I have provide helpful information.Overall you essay seems to be nicely written.

Essays / Going to college as an adult - Narrative (A significant event that changed your life) [5]

First off, you should try writing what is on your mind. In other words get your thoughts out of your head and on paper. This is going to be your rough draft. At any point in time you can change your topic. However you have your topic. Your topic is a second chance at the college experience. You should first come up with a thesis statement. Why are you going to college? Then support why you have decided to go back to college with a few details (perhaps 3). Next go on to expalin the first reason that made you decide to return to college. Do this for your next paragraphs also. Your conclusion should support you thesis statement bringing it all together. Remember the reader should not have to make assumptions about what you are trying to convey. My point is this, BE CLEAR!!!

I hoped that this helped you.
Good luck