Posts by Nom Nom Nom

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 17, 2010

Undergraduate / "Another Night on Facebook" - personal quality, talent, experience [6]

To all the people I've pissed off or hurt or annoyed or ignored.

This part is a fragment! To all the people I've pissed off or hurt or annoyed or ignored, I wish I could apologize for being who I am. Combining the two sentences would work but I think it differs from the effect that you are trying to create.

The whole essay of procrastination might give off a slightly negative vibe even thought I really liked what you did with it at the end! Personally, I liked your essay! :)

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 21, 2010

Undergraduate / "a gateway to my future, new horizons" - The Ohio State University application essay [4]

I am ~~not only~~ also interested in ~~The~~ Ohio State University, not only for its education, ~~though,~~because I also feel like there is an enormous feeling of school spirit and pride running throughout the campus

There are also a few instances where your sentences could be a bit iffy. Your essay should be more personal like your interests and how OSU is significant to your interests rather than just praising the school.

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 21, 2010

Undergraduate / "There was a God somewhere watching over us" -an experience that changed your life. [9]

This essay is really great but I do agree with Kevin! You're going a bit overboard in some of your sentences, and your new revision conveyed your message better. I thought your essay was really heartfelt! :)

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 25, 2010

Undergraduate / Let's Crap Detect: Stanford Intellectual Activity Supp [9]

I now use the skill everywhere and have only encountered one problem with. Its name.

I think you either meant to say "one problem with it: its name" or "encountered a problem with its name."

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / Dantes inferno Bball Court -- WHY STANFORD [8]

I really liked your essay because of how interesting it is! :)

I dream about the discussions I will have with my fellow classmates at two in the morning when we are completely drained from a week long of classes.

I think after would be more suitable.

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "Enrolled in a ballet class" - Stanford roommate supplement! [7]

I was a little menace to society

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "How I've come to accept my father's return to Russia" Common app essay [5]

He left anyway. reword, doesnt makes sense ? complete sentence ?

Actually this is a complete sentence!

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / Dantes inferno Bball Court -- WHY STANFORD [8]

After three summers, I have finally realized what is special about Stanford: its people.

I was overwhelmed by the feverishly peddling bikers and the excited students jumping from one fountain to another, not to mention I was taking a calculus course.

This seems like a run on. I think a possible fix could be a long dash.

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "I have obsessive compulsive disorder" - Stanford Roomate Essay [6]

I think it's just a joke and you have to read it light heartedly.

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 31, 2010

Undergraduate / Advertising, Journalism? - ESSAY FOR HARVARD, UCHICAGO, AMERICAN, CARNEGIE [15]

It's quite rude of you to post for help in other people's threads without helping them at all. Anyway, I've read your essay and I felt it was quite a disheartening story.

I remember when I would feel embarrassed to bring my own mother to class to read to us.

If you help someone else out with their essay, I'm sure he/she will be more than happy to help you out with yours. You should take this into consideration! Good luck with your essay. :)