If I could get any tips or critique, I would be so grateful, thanks in advance, just got the essay under 250 words
Supplement 2: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates love on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
I would like to tell you in advance that looks are deceiving. At first glance I appear to be nothing more than a lazy kid that probably plays too many video games. While I do play video games, nothing could be further from the truth. I like to be thought of as the weird genius at school. Often times you will find me on the whiteboard drawing a crazy invention that couldn't possibly work, or flailing my arms in the air because I just felt like it or even sing really loud because the song is stuck in my head! Then when the teacher asks us about the gravitational force of Pluto, I am the only one that can answer. And people are just confused as to how someone who doesn't look smart at all answered such a question. When you get to know me better, you will see how committed I am to school. My mind has engraved itself to think that until my schoolwork is finished, the rest of the world does not exist. I complete all my work because I can't stand thinking that something isn't finished. For instance, If I start to wipe the dust from my desk, I will end up cleaning my whole room from top to bottom until everything is in perfect order and spotless! You can almost say I have obsessive compulsive disorder. My personality isn't exactly what you would call normal, but I can't imagine being anyone else.
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
I would like to tell you in advance that my looks are deceiving. At first glance, I appear to be nothing more than a lazy kid that probably plays too many video games. While I do play video games, nothing could be further from the truth. I like to be thought of as the weird genius at school. Often times, you will find me at the whiteboard drawing a crazy invention that couldn't possibly work, or flailing my arms in the air because I just felt like it, or even singing really loud because there is a song is stuck in my head! ThenW hen themy physics/chemistry/biology/earth science teacher asks usthe class about the gravitational force of Pluto, I am the only one who can answer. AndP eople are justusually look confused as to how someone who doesn't look smart at all can answered such a question. When you get to know me better , you will clearly see how committed I am to school. My mind has over timeengravedprogramed itself to think that the world can not continue to spin until my schoolworkhomework is finished, the rest of the world does not exist . I always complete all my work because I can't stand thinking that something isn't finished. For instance, Ifif I start to wipe the dust offfrom my desk, I will end up cleaning my whole entire room!from top to bottom until everything is Everything must be in perfect order and spotless.You can almost say I haveI'd say it's a "healthy" case of obsessive compulsive disorder. My personality isn't exactly what you would call " normal," but I can't imagine being anyone else.
I don't know if saying you have OCD to your 'roommate' would be the most...welcoming idea.
I think it's just a joke and you have to read it light heartedly.
I agree with Stephanie - painting yourself as a "weird genius at school" is not something that Stanford wants. They want "normal" geniuses.
This is essay is supposed show honesty and your personality. I think you focused more on trying to impress Stanford by saying that you're a weird genius and mentioning that you're the only that can answer the gravitational force about Pluto, is coming off as a bit pretentious. Because you're righting a letter to you're Stanford roommate, you do not need to tell them how smart you are. They already know that because you got in! Show you're personality more through the ocd topic just don't try to hard to prove that you are smart.
