Writing Feedback / IELTS - Globalisation and its effect on world's economy [2]

Topic : Even though Globalisation affects the world's economics in a very positive way, its negative sides should not be forgotten, discuss. (250 Words)

What do you think of this essay (368 words) ?

Thank you in advance.

For the past decade, fast changes have occurred in technology and communication and have lead to a more integrated world, where an event in one country is more likely to have short term consequences in other countries. As such events have become more complex and intertwined with each other, they can quickly affect people in their everyday lives. Although it is believed that Globalisation has brought many benefits to the world's economy, people should stay careful and not forget its drawbacks. This will be proved by analysing how Globalisation has provided people with a great variety of products, and then by examining what harsh effects it has had on certain job markets.

Firstly, today's customers are able to find a huge choice of competitive products at a reasonable price. For example, department stores sell exotic fruits throughout the year, like pineapples, mangos and lemons, making it possible to prepare funny recipes even in the heart of cold winters. This example makes it clear that the improvements seen in transport as well as the involvement of many countries harvesting in turn explain the great variety of food people can have access to. As a consequence, Globalisation has had positive effects by increasing the range of available products for customers.

However, some countries have seen a dramatic increase in their unemployment rates. For instance, large companies, looking to become more competitive, stopped their production in Western developed countries so that they should be able to hire a cheaper workforce in China or India. This demonstrates why many old industrial countries in both Europe and North America are now struggling to stabilise the rising number of jobless people. After analysing these facts, it becomes understandable that Globalisation may have some negative effects on the economy.

In conclusion, not only has Globalisation brought advantages to customers by providing a large range of imported products, but has also had harsh effects by destroying existing jobs in certain countries. In my opinion, the benefits for customers strongly outweigh the negative effects on the job markets. Governments should use innovation and research to successfully answer to industrial job losses, as well as maintaining a basic welfare system to help guiding people towards more qualified jobs.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Sporting events easing international tensions, releasing patriotic feelings [3]

Hello everyone,

Here is my new essay, a bit long (372 words) done in about one hour.
I will welcome your remarks.

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. Do you agree or disagree?

For most folks on Earth, the need to gather in one place, and enjoy competition with other talented people from different cultures through popular games has always been a strong motivation. This trend is so deeply engraved in people's mind that the organisation of such events continue to be planned, even when some participants are facing grievous social problems. It is agreed that large scale sports games make people focus on attractive contests instead of international disputes, and help them being proud of their nation. This will be proved by analysing how sports events may be an important link to the peace, and by how they encourage people to display their national symbols.

Firstly, during times of war, people living in badly affected countries can forget about the gloomy environment and maintain a link with the rest of the world by listening to international sports event. For example, when Irak was hardly struck by the Second Gulf War, its citizens tried to catch any incoming news about the FootballWorld Cup through their portable receivers. This clearly shows that international sports competitions encourage people and put pressure on them to come back, sooner or later, to a relative peaceful normality. Thus, world sports events strongly participate in eventually pulling back people towards friendship and peace.

Secondly, these sporting occasions are a good opportunity for people to be proud of their country. For instance, when the Football World Cup was organised in South Africa, its citizens filled up the stadiums, cheered and waved national flags to support their national team on the field. South African national and traditional songs were played in the streets throughout the night. This example demonstrates how people might take numerous elements from their roots and history to proudly display them while supporting their team. As a result, it is clear that people can freely express their patriotic feelings during international sports events.

In conclusion, after analysing the effects of world games both for countries at war and for organising countries, it is clear that they not only constitute a tremendous appeal towards a peaceful society, but also guide the public demonstrations of national proudness. This has been true for centuries and will certainly not change in the foreseeable future.