ckhn1225
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "Smiling Leader" - help on my essay, UC Personal Statement [5]
Hey guys, I was just wondering if I could please get any tips or advice on my UC personal statement. It would be very much appreciated. Thanks so much :)
Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how has your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
In my house, there is a wall filled with family pictures and souvenirs from our past vacations. Whenever I pass by that wall, it seems as though I don't give it the effort of a glance to look at it. Occasionally, I take a look at the wall, and I see the changes that my family has been through. One particular instance, I looked at a picture from a trip to Vietnam in 2007, and then a picture from a vacation in Jamaica in 2010. At first glance, I noticed the obvious major differences in my appearance. I had lost weight, cut my hair, lost my glasses, and had grown taller. After looking at the pictures more closely, I began to see that these obvious differences had much more meaning then the physical changes they represented. In addition, there was another obvious change that struck me immediately, and it was something that should be in every family picture. The major difference between the two pictures was that, in Vietnam, I wasn't smiling.
Change has affected almost everything in my life, and nothing in my 17 years of life has ever remained constant. Indeed, when I look back at all the things that have changed through my life, I can't help but feel that the thing that has changed most of all is me. Looking back at myself in 2007, I was always the kid who wouldn't talk to anyone else outside his friend circle. The stereotypical "nerd", my life was focused on school, my few friends, and video games. I did whatever I was told, and I was essentially a follower. However, the thing that separated me from my friends was my ambition. My biggest ambition at that time was to become a leader, and that journey began my sophomore year, when I decided to enroll in my school's IB program, the speech and debate team, as well as Key Club. Granite Bay High School's IB program is very small, and I found myself having the same kids in every class. It was definitely something that could've been counter productive in opening my friend circles. However, I found myself developing strong friendships with each of my classmates, and before I knew it, kids were saying hi to me outside of class. Being on the debate team served as a way for me to express my opinions, and make new friends, and before I knew it, kids completely different from me were saying hello everyday. Lastly, when I joined the Key Club at my school, and became Vice President, I had found a way for me to help the community, get to know students outside of my school, and even become a leader. These three experiences collectively added to an expansion of my friend circles. By the end of my junior year, I had many more friends, I had become a leader, and I had changed from the kid from the picture in Vietnam to the young smiling man in the picture from Jamaica.
My experiences in high school have led me to strive to become the best leader I can be. As John F. Kennedy once said, "Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." A leader isn't merely a person in charge, but rather a person that brings together many different circles and types of people. My ambitions have always been strong, and I aspire to become a true leader as I continue to smile, make others smile, ultimately move on to college.
Hey guys, I was just wondering if I could please get any tips or advice on my UC personal statement. It would be very much appreciated. Thanks so much :)
Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how has your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
In my house, there is a wall filled with family pictures and souvenirs from our past vacations. Whenever I pass by that wall, it seems as though I don't give it the effort of a glance to look at it. Occasionally, I take a look at the wall, and I see the changes that my family has been through. One particular instance, I looked at a picture from a trip to Vietnam in 2007, and then a picture from a vacation in Jamaica in 2010. At first glance, I noticed the obvious major differences in my appearance. I had lost weight, cut my hair, lost my glasses, and had grown taller. After looking at the pictures more closely, I began to see that these obvious differences had much more meaning then the physical changes they represented. In addition, there was another obvious change that struck me immediately, and it was something that should be in every family picture. The major difference between the two pictures was that, in Vietnam, I wasn't smiling.
Change has affected almost everything in my life, and nothing in my 17 years of life has ever remained constant. Indeed, when I look back at all the things that have changed through my life, I can't help but feel that the thing that has changed most of all is me. Looking back at myself in 2007, I was always the kid who wouldn't talk to anyone else outside his friend circle. The stereotypical "nerd", my life was focused on school, my few friends, and video games. I did whatever I was told, and I was essentially a follower. However, the thing that separated me from my friends was my ambition. My biggest ambition at that time was to become a leader, and that journey began my sophomore year, when I decided to enroll in my school's IB program, the speech and debate team, as well as Key Club. Granite Bay High School's IB program is very small, and I found myself having the same kids in every class. It was definitely something that could've been counter productive in opening my friend circles. However, I found myself developing strong friendships with each of my classmates, and before I knew it, kids were saying hi to me outside of class. Being on the debate team served as a way for me to express my opinions, and make new friends, and before I knew it, kids completely different from me were saying hello everyday. Lastly, when I joined the Key Club at my school, and became Vice President, I had found a way for me to help the community, get to know students outside of my school, and even become a leader. These three experiences collectively added to an expansion of my friend circles. By the end of my junior year, I had many more friends, I had become a leader, and I had changed from the kid from the picture in Vietnam to the young smiling man in the picture from Jamaica.
My experiences in high school have led me to strive to become the best leader I can be. As John F. Kennedy once said, "Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." A leader isn't merely a person in charge, but rather a person that brings together many different circles and types of people. My ambitions have always been strong, and I aspire to become a true leader as I continue to smile, make others smile, ultimately move on to college.