Undergraduate / Not only a "starving artist," - UC statment Promp 1- Art [2]

So here is my personal statement. I am new to this essay forum so this the first time I am doing this. I will be happy to help anyone who helps me when I find the time. I have a meeting with a UC admissions person at my school so I would like to get feed back as soon as possible. Thank you.

Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I look at my hands as I wait for inspiration to write what is so far the most important reflection on who I am. I notice the dried cerulean paint I was unable to wash off earlier. My nails are unmaintained with chipped nail polish that I do not bother redoing since it only be covered with acrylic paint soon enough. It is no new sight for me. I consider it a part of my image. When I look at my hands, I do not see my Latina skin color or scars from past incidents, but the paint that never completely comes off. It is who I am and I carry it with me, my love for art that is.

At a young age, I left no blank page without sketches of the nearest thing that interested me. I remember organizing a still life of patio plants and vases for me to illustrate with croyola colored pencils. Only now I realize how slightly strange this must have been for a child to do. Young elementary classmates would ask me if I would be an artist when I grew up. At age nine, asking myself serious questions about what I wanted to be, I somehow felt being an artist wasn't in the cards for me. Yet I could not imagine giving up art or seeing my life with out it. I already had a deep foundation and appreciation for art. It had become my world.

I was very lucky to be able to attend a school that encouraged their students to pursue the arts. For the past six years, I have been a part of a very special and small community. It provided me with a balance of strong academics and creative arts. Although I wanted to be successful academically, I wanted to grow and succeed as an artist as well. The two morphed into one in my daily routine. Leaving English class, I entered the studio where I shaped the lines of models that have come in. Absorbing the light that highlighted the body, the information traveled from my eyes to my hand to shade the form evolving into a dancer. After an hour of work, I walk History with charcoal smudges that have ruined yet another shirt.

Lines became less defined, images began to blend, and colors complimented one another. Taking risks, my art and technique matured over the years. The challenges of capturing something new onto canvas only made the finished work more rewarding. I would learn new media from oil to prisma color to printmaking. Papers were filling up portfolios under my bed. I began to perceive what it felt like to be an artist. I was having my art shown in galleries from the school to shows downtown. Sometimes even selling work. My most recent commission work was a seventeen member family portrait for a staff member at school. It was definitely my most challenging project that pushed me to new limits. Currently I am in the process of creating a five-piece mural that will be hung in the school library. I have been honored with the privileged to leave my mark on the school that had given me so much.

Sitting in the classroom watching a video on Dali's life, I was overwhelmed at how interested I became. It wasn't until my last high school years that I realized what I truly loved about art. It was not only creating it, but the learning about people and philosophies behind it. Having the knowledge about revolutionary artists, how they worked, and what drove them to do what they did was something I wish to attain. I would go through the library and pull our books on artists and art movements. Merely knowing about these subjects was a gift. Creating art was like a doorway to something larger I wanted to study.

Always asking myself as a realist what I wanted to be, study or do, no idea would stick for long. Despite the harsh hear those who say pursuing art would only lead to becoming a "starving artist," I could not eliminate this element from my life. I was only recently that I realized the, the one thing that held my interest for so long was Art history. This is what I wish to pursue after high school. I hope to make a career of it what will bring me joy and share my world with others.

Undergraduate / "someone who rises up to as a leader" - UC prompt 2 - leadership [4]

Its not the actually title of my personal statement. I do not know if we need to title it. Do I?

Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I kept to myself as a child. Very observant, as liked to watch things happen from the outside. This was mostly because of my severe shyness. Growing up in a traditional Mexican family, I was taught to be quiet and obedient with the adults and often pushed to the side when it came to their adult conversations. Thus I never grew much of a thirst for attention. I was not very the social with people outside my family and did not interact often with others my age. Even then I was very aware of my flawed personality.

Over the years became more accustomed to public life because of school. Yet I was still terrified of being I the spotlight and public speaking. I always tried to stay behind the scenes. When given the chance, I would take the roles with the least lines in school plays. I envied the other kids who actually enjoyed being up there. I knew I had to make a change.

My change was not found in performing or public speaking, but leadership. I found a role inside me to be a leader for myself and others around me when needed. I am able to take charge to and tackle a given assignment. When working in teams, I am able to take responsibility and find ways to maximize our potential for success. One area where I was able to express my leadership skills was when I was a part of Yearbook. As an Editor I organized my team members by giving them jobs and supervising their work. It was part of my role to make sure tasks were completed and be held accountable for any mistakes.

Rather than being on the outside and letting things happen, I became someone who rises up to as a leader. In college I hope to use this leadership qualities, not just for others but myself. It is the discipline I need and drive to succeed.