Undergraduate / China Exchange student leads me to business world. why i am interested in business? [8]

Sounds pretty impressive, but i think it would be better on the last sentence to put "Now I question myself" instead of "Now I am questioning myself". other than that i liked it

Good luck with your applications!

Undergraduate / American single host mom has inspired me.---life experience. [5]

I was expecting somewhere warmer, California, for instance. i would take out that.

i cant find anything else wrong with it. its too good!

i gotta do my personal statements its hard!