Undergraduate / "I will become an author-architect" - UT Essay D for Architecture Admission [3]

Could you please read through this essay and let me know methods of improvement? I am having a little trouble with the flow of the essay. PLEASE HELP! (:

PROMPT:
Topic D: REQUIRED (no essay on file)
Personal interaction with objects, images and spaces can be so powerful as to change the way one thinks about particular issues or topics. For your intended area of study (architecture, art history, design, studio art, visual art studies/art education), describe an experience where instruction in that area or your personal interaction with an object, image or space effected this type of change in your thinking. What did you do to act upon your new thinking and what have you done to prepare yourself for further study in this area?

ESSAY:
Bucket list item number 67: Visit the Tjibaou Cultural Center in Noumea, New Caledonia.

Jean-Marie Tjibaou said "In the quest for identity, you must always look forward, never backwards... our identity lies ahead of us." The Tjibaou Cultural Center is captivating; the outside revolutionizes modern ideas of business centers while the inside provides an experience that transcends any modern technological advances. While displaying the Kanak culture, this building integrates nature and functionality, preserving cultural customs and providing the world with a type of modern reminiscence-a journey through the past, yet in contemporary terms.

According to Dr. Werner Lang's "Design with Climate" lecture, buildings account for approximately 50% of the world's Carbon Dioxide emissions. While much of the present research focuses on transportation and industry, little is being done in order to make our buildings more environmentally cautious. During Dr. Lang's lecture, he introduced me to a new type of thinking by presenting several different examples of how the world can create efficient and comfortable buildings, while keeping the environment in mind. Dr. Lang introduced me to the Tjibaou Cultural Center; Dr. Lang introduced me to my passion.

The Cultural Center utilizes all resources necessary to sustain a building environment while impacting nature as little as possible. These resources mainly come from the environment, such as the strong winds of the Pacific Ocean. The winds provide a system of natural ventilation, passing through inner facades that respond to wind speeds and strengths, and open and close in order to provide the building with the proper ventilation. Some even say that one cannot experience the sound of the wind in this way anywhere but the Tjibaou Cultural Center; it creates a feeling of nature while inside a structure, preserving the Kanak's cultural beliefs of living in harmony with nature.

I never knew that architecture would become my passion, but since discovering this building, inspiration and enthusiasm have pushed me to seek an internship with an architecture firm that focuses on sustainability. I now intern with FKP Architects twice a week, a hospital-focused firm that stresses the importance of the environment in all that they do. I have also joined an environmental science class in order to learn how humans interact with the environment, and how we can reduce our carbon footprint.

Although I have never visited the Tjibaou Cultural Center, it has inspired me and changed the way I think about architecture. I want to take part in this movement; I want to design something as unimaginable, yet exceedingly pragmatic as the Tjibaou Cultural Center. And I want to expand upon my knowledge of sustainability.

I believe that in creating my identity, working with sustainability and architecture will take a large role, and that by looking forward I can help build upon the knowledge of how to preserve our environment. Architecture is my passion. I love how there are endless possibilities, endless resources, and endless opportunities to make it better. I love that architecture is not only about slapping four walls on a piece of slab and calling it a building. Architecture tells a story, it preserves a culture.

When I take a look at my future, I do not picture myself strictly as an architect. I will become an author; I will be the imaginative brains behind the buildings I produce, painting a picture on each page with the elements introduced.

I will become an architect, and I will become a creator.

Undergraduate / "an obsession with perfection" - UT ESSAY SETBACK/CHALLENGE/OPPORTUNITY [2]

PLEASE READ OVER FOR QUICK MISTAKES AND ADVICE. LAST MINUTE SCHOLARSHIP.
THANKS(:

Significant Setback/Challenge/Opportunity Essay (REQUIRED)
(Terry Scholarship Applicants: Use this essay to discuss an experience
demonstrating your leadership outside the classroom.) Describe a significant
setback, challenge or opportunity in your life and the
impact that it has had on you.

The fifth hour. Fingers burnt, eyes droopy, mind frazzled. Who would have ever thought a project could be this draining? I take a step back and look at my economics poster covered in die cut letters, three dimensional objects, and of course, glitter. It could use a little improvement, as everything always can, and I return to the operating room, a hot glue gun in one hand, glitter in the other- ready for surgery. For me, performing surgery does not fall far from the task at hand; precision and perfection is key. I will work until the project is flawless: the clock strikes midnight, one, two A.M., and the night is still young. I enter this monotonous cycle again and again; give me a project, and it will become a masterpiece.

If someone asked me to define the word perfection, I am not sure that I could do it. I am not sure that I could differentiate between beauty and organization, happiness and success. I am not sure that my adamant mind would focus enough to be able to understand even its own perception of perfection. The logical, rational part of me would monotonously respond, "The state of being perfect," but in reality, I would never find the perfect meaning of perfection. I would never be able to narrow my definition to a point of understanding. I am a perfectionist, and it has, in the past, been my biggest weakness.

Writing in straight lines, planning a sleepover, erasing stray marks, finding the right word, organizing by color, overanalyzing an essay, and fearing failure-some call it obsessive, and some call it crazy. It is not something I can explain, I cannot tell them why I must do everything a certain way. But I refuse to allow my faults to fall into just another category; I am not crazy and I do not have a disorder. Perfectionism is my driving force; it is the mold into which I have been shaped-it is the reason that I have been as successful as I am.

However, an obsession with perfection can turn out to be a double-edged sword - I am motivated by a need to succeed, as well as a fear of disappointment. And for a while, I alienated myself from this fear, this desire, only to discover that this will forever be a part of me. This will be a part of me for the rest of my life because I refuse to give it up. I refuse to furthermore call this a weakness; I refuse to view it as destructive. Therefore, instead of trying to overcome my weakness, I chose to harness my perfectionism. I chose to turn it into a beneficial quality, and I chose to embrace it.

Through this perfectionism, it has taught me to push myself to the limits. I will never turn in a project half-way complete or disappointing. This desire, this need to be perfect runs through my blood. I will continue to focus on harnessing this attribute because I know that as college approaches, time will become an issue. Twenty-four hours in a day must be enough. But I am ready to face this challenge, I am ready to compete. I am ready to tackle everything with my mind and my glitter bottle wide open.

My perfectionism has progressed from a burden to a challenge, and I have learned that it is only when I am tested that I realize who I am, and it is only when I am confronted with a problem that I understand who I can become.