Undergraduate / "My education took place in Dubai, UAE," - NYU Essay #1 [5]

My education took place in Dubai, UAE, which fueled my interest for marketing and business. Dubai has transformed into a trading hub and a tourist destination, supported by marketing. Growing up in that environment led me to forminvoked a strong passion for marketing. Marketing is an inevitable part of human life as we are always trying to convince people of our view, which is how I have grown up. At NYU Stern(insert comma) I will gain theprofessional skills(insert comma) enter the marketing world(insert comma) and impact it in a positive way.

The second "a" can be removed.

I would use a stronger verb such as invoked or conjured.

"the skills" is sort of awkward; professional skills sounds...well...PROFESSIONAL!

;)

You have a great background. Good luck!

Undergraduate / "devoted to my goals, and confident" -personal or creative essay that describes YOU. [14]

I am an indomitable human being-- devoted to my goals and confident in my ability to excel at a prestigious university such as Georgetown by utilizing my problem solving, critical reasoning, and mathematical skills.

A dash works well here to show the comparison found in your skills and your spirit.

Great read; good luck!