Undergraduate / "Objection Overruled" - Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activites. [2]

Prompt: Please elaborate on one of your extracurricular activites.

"Objection Overruled"

There is no feeling like it. I sit at a cold, hardwood desk staring at the opposing team. My heart is racing. All sense of clemency and grace escapes as the judge enters the room. Everyone jumps to their feet proudly with militaristic speed. The atmosphere is tense but hushed.

"Does the defense have a witness to present?" barks the judge.

"Yes your honor!" I exclaim as I eagerly spring from my chair. My pulse is pounding in my throat as I pose questions to my witness.

"Objection, your Honor!" screams a lawyer from the opposing counsel. "This question calls for the witness to testify to hearsay." I inhale deeply; a small smile forms at the corner of my mouth; and I know exactly how to respond.

"Your Honor, this question does not call for an out of court declaration and is therefore not hearsay." I turn back toward the bench, and I continue with my questioning.

Mock Trial is not only a competitive extracurricular activity, but it is also a program that conveys to high school and college students invaluable oratory skills and a complex understanding of the United States Judicial System. Every student who participates in mock trial understands the high degree of commitment and mental strain that the program demands, but the competitive trials that make our hearts race remind us of why we are involved in the first place - not to glorify ourselves, but to strive to represent our communities well.

Could I get some hlep with structuring and a decent closing. It doesn't end well right now. Thanks!!!

Undergraduate / 'Helping a woman' - an event that has changed your life - app essay [5]

Prompt: Elaborate on an event that has changed your life.

As I walk through the doorway, I am immersed in a cloud of dust and debris. The room fills with the sound of wheezing and gasps for air. I look around at what used to be someone's home. Windows are shattered, furniture is scattered about the room, and the remnants of a life lye in disarray.

Outside, the picture is just as grim. I sigh as I walk through the downtown that had been devastated by the flood of 2008. As I proceed, I see unbelievable destruction. Every neighborhood resembles a war zone. Orange signs posted on doors state, "CONDEMNED" in bold lettering. Cars are scattered about, lifeless, and covered in filth. Piles of garbage line the streets. I stop to stare in awe at what used to be the center of my town. I pass the YMCA where I exercise. The massive two-story windows are shattered, and the brand new Olympic sized swimming pool are filled with appliances, furniture, and debris of all kinds. Thousands of homes...destroyed. Millions of dollars in damage caused...overnight. How could this have happened?

I often volunteer for worthy causes, but this is something extraordinarily different. When the water recedes, I am inspired to see how the community comes together. One day, I decide to work with my church group to help a single woman recover from the disaster. I arrive at the scene in the scorching weather. I wipe the sweat from my brow as I stare at the mass of destruction. I slide the pasty white respirator over my face and walk toward the home. Before I reach the doorway, I pass my friends who are comforting the woman. I expect to see her broken and despondent. However, I notice that she is smiling. I stand there bewildered. How can she be cheerful? Everything she owns is decimated. Her neighborhood has been washed away. I ponder this for hours as we attempt to clean the home.

As I strike the side of the home, pieces of the walls and pieces of a life fall all around me. We move load after load of rubble out the door, yet the woman continues to glow. I continue with my task, still pensive about the woman's disposition. When we finish, I ask her, "I couldn't help but notice that you have been smiling all day?" A large grin forms on her face as she speaks these words, "Why shouldn't I smile? I am the luckiest woman in the world." She approaches me in friendship and hugs me tight.

Later that night, I lie in my bed, pondering what the woman had said to me. I think about how the flood had changed the lives of thousands in my community. I had spent so much time feeling sorry for them, but I think I now understand something profound. No one could have foreseen this disaster, and no one person can fix it. In the wake of this cataclysm, the community is coming together in goodwill and companionship. The woman knows that we alone can't rebuild her home. We are just a group of kids from a local high school. However, I now see that, to the woman, the physical work is not the most important resource we provide. Instead, we help the woman in a deeper way by spending time with her; laughing, eating cookies, and simply showing her that we care.