Undergraduate / FAMU: how my name has influenced me [NEW]

this is about describing how family culture/ history has influenced you I need to know is this acceptable.. i think i went over the 250 word limit, how do i shorten it??? i believe it's all significant

Around the time of my birth, my parents' ideas on what my name should be had a totally different outcome than what was previously planned. My mother wanted to name me 'Sally'; "I like simple names..." she would tell me. While on the other hand, my father wanted to name me 'Shaniqua'. (A little ghetto-fabulous if you ask me.) But in the end, neither one of those names were given to me. Instead I was given a rather unique and uncommon name. A name that often becomes butchered when attempted to be pronounced. Erkenesh is my birth name.

I grew up as a child who often regretted the first day of school. The moment my teacher was about to take attendance I would prepare nervously for her to come across my name struggling to pronounce it; just so that in the end I would have to say it the correct way -out loud -in front of the entire class becoming the center of attention and a victim of laughter and stares. Some teachers would take one look at that foreign name and decide at that very moment to call me by my last name, Serrano, for the entire year; simply because it was not as complex to say. Now as I have matured I've learned to embrace my name -not because it's my birth name- but because of its meaning.

My name is Ethiopian and means 'reconciliation to God'.I was named after a deceased missionary, Erkenesh Tekelamarian, who took part in a great revival in Ethiopia and brought lost souls to Christ. My father chose that name for me because he found a connection between his walk with God and the name's meaning itself. He had backslidden from church and eventually found his way back to "The Cross". Thus, my name became a symbol for his relationship with God. At first I wanted to change my name; I know now that I wouldn't trade it for any other. I was named after greatness and my name has showed me that no matter how unique it may be it sets me apart as an individual. So let me properly introduce myself... "My name is Erkenesh Condra Serrano."

Writing Feedback / Marshalls made me realize how sine qua non a higher education is [2]

This is my narrative for my Eng Class... I jus wanted to get some revisions if I need them. And fix any punctuation errors.

"Nicciy, to the service desk for a price check," chimed a voice over the intercom. Rolling my eyes, Ugh! -Again? I thought to myself. It was a regular day at Marshalls. Customers came in like tidal waves, the entire store looked like it had gotten hit by a hurricane, and I, as usual, was trying to juggle all of my responsibilities for the night without losing my mind. I wondered to myself how the people I worked with that had been employed at Marshalls longer than I had managed to continue working here all these years. Marshalls had truly made me realize how sine qua non a college education is.

Sitting in the break room motionless with my feet up, I stared at the clock. I had only been working for a few hours and I was already ready to call it a night. Looking around the break room I noticed a pen on the table. Tearing off a small amount of paper towel from the dispenser I began to calculate my hours for the week. Dissatisfied with the outcome, I crumbled the little piece of paper and flicked it off the table in disgust. Looking off into the distance I couldn't help but think about everything I've been through working here: all the rude customers, the high stress levels you deal with, living up to all of management's expectations, and lazy associates that don't do their job. It just didn't seem worth it for the little bit you got paid. Thanking God for the fact that this was just a job for me and not a career I knew college was my only way out.

Putting back on my name tag, I returned back to my department to see what the damage was. Yep! Clothes decorated the floor while the hangers on the racks stuck out like chicken wings poking me in the arm as I walked down the aisle. Bending down to pick up a left shoe that had found its way half way across the store I heard a voice say my name. I looked up to see an old co-worker from 2008 staring down at me. After exchanging hugs and hellos, she asked me if I was still attending Brandon High School. Proud of the fact that I had graduated in July 2009, I happily told her I was enrolled in college now. At that moment, my supervisor walked by chuckling to himself. "What's funny?" I asked. Glaring at me with a smirk on his face, "Well..." he began, "even though you going to college you'll be right back here in 3 years." Looking at him like he had officially lost his mind, I was even more shocked to hear my old co-worker not hesitate to agree adding that the most I'd be was a manager at Marshalls. Needless to say, I was hurt and angry enough to curse them both out. I couldn't do it though. Instead I pitied them. One was a high school drop-out while the other never even went to college. I already knew I wasn't going to end up like that. Giving up because of some criticism wasn't going to stop me from pursuing my dreams. There was no future here at Marshalls. College was going to take me above and beyond.

Closing time arrived faster than expected. The store wasn't perfect but it was decent. Everyone was too anxious to leave to worry about anything else that was out of place. After clocking out and grabbing our belongings we all exited the building yelling goodbyes to one another. Hopping in the car and greeting my mom with a half smile she asked how work was. "Same old same old", I replied dryly. I watched the blue and white Marshalls sign grow smaller as we drove off into the distance in the side mirror. I was convinced Marshalls was teaching me about the importance of a higher education. All the criticism and the feeling of being overworked and underpaid was just my motivation and the reasons why I knew I had to be more than the Average Joe. My mom always told me actions speak louder than words. I made up in my mind my college degree was going to do the talking for me and in three years Marshalls was going to be just one more thing of the past.