Writing Feedback / The movie "Troy", Achilles - someone you admire. How have they affected your life? [6]

Hi essayforum.com,

I am working on a journal that is given by my English teacher. I was looking for help on google and I found your web site. I found a thread with the same subject about "describe someone you admire", but my journal has an extra part which i have to tell how he/she has affected my life. Could you please check my journal? In fact, I don't know what should I call it, journal or essay.

I want to talk about a character in the movie "Troy", his name is Achilles.
He was the best in his country. He was brave, strong and ambitious. But he was modest. He was so strong in his fights. He was like a lion in every war. He was the great leader whom all the army depent on. But he had a warm heart of true love. He had the courage to sacrifice everything for the woman he loved. What I like most about him is his enthusiasm for his own will. He wanted his name to be legend and he did it.

I choose my nick name Hachillies, the combination of Achilles and my name. I found something I would want to be in him. I changed a lot from that. I restrain myself from weakness. I set the goal of my life to be a good leader in economic. I know that it would be hard. But I want to be like Achilles.

Thank you for help.