takanguyen
Mar 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / "your claim of being a bona fide student in New Zealand" - GAP YEARS EXPLAINATION [4]
Hi, I'm new. Can anyone look into this essay? Cause I apply to visa and I have to explain my gap years
The question is : You graduated from high school in June 2005. You stated since graduation from high school you worked as a Receptionist until October 2010 and studied English. You do not have any formal full-time study since you graduated from high school. Now you state you wish to study in New Zealand. Based on your academic background, we are also not convinced that you have demonstrated you have strong academic ability and commitment to achieve. This leads us to doubt your claim of being a bona fide student in New Zealand. Please comment.
I am applying for visa permit to study in New Zealand because I want a career in hospitality industry. At the time I graduated, there was no training school for hospitality industry in Vietnam. Even now, except for a few study programs offered by private institutions, there is very little development of Hospitality industry as a separate and specialized academic and practical field of study. I am aware that study abroad in a specialized field is a difficult task to achieve and excel at; therefore I took time to prepare necessary skills. I found a job to be financially independent. I signed a 5 years contract so I can't have any formal full-time study. But I have no regrets because while I was working at Nghe An's Blind Association, I accumulated a lot of good experiences. In particular, a skill which I certainly cannot learn from school is how to lead the blind correctly. Actually, before anything else, I learned to dress in professional attire and to be patient and also friendly to everyone regardless of their appearance, status, attitudes because I'm likely the first person people interact with any time they call or visit. As a receptionist, I did routine tasks such as greet visitors, handle common situations such as answer the phone, make return phone calls, receive and transmit messages, get appointments ... Consequently, my communication skills improved very quickly. I also had a decent knowledge of the various applications in Microsoft Office in order to type correspondence, keep and update appointment logs... Besides, as the only one in the staff can use English, I had a chance participate in activities of many projects funded by foreign associations, especially, the Community - based Rehabilitation Project with the financial support from SRF (Swedish Association of the Visually - Impaired). As a result, I learned to communicate well in written language as well as foreign languages.
I think those skills will help me a lot but I will need all education experiences that accelerate and enhance my hospitality management knowledge, skills and attitudes, and fully prepare me for an exciting and successful career in hospitality management. And in today's ever-changing economy, the job market is more competitive than ever. It is not as easy to move into management as it once was, and it will most likely take more than a little hard work to land the position. Due to this, I wish to earn a diploma in Hotel Management. I intend to follow this up with a bachelor degree. I have discussed my choice of School with my family and have applied to Pacific International Hotel Management School (PIHMS) because of its professional hospitality environment, the industry placement programme, the number of successful PIHMS graduates and, especially, the suitable fee. After finishing the course, I will go back to Viet Nam to be near my family. I believe this course will offer me opportunities and practical experience to work in the area that I'm keen on. I wish for being success in my country.
Hi, I'm new. Can anyone look into this essay? Cause I apply to visa and I have to explain my gap years
The question is : You graduated from high school in June 2005. You stated since graduation from high school you worked as a Receptionist until October 2010 and studied English. You do not have any formal full-time study since you graduated from high school. Now you state you wish to study in New Zealand. Based on your academic background, we are also not convinced that you have demonstrated you have strong academic ability and commitment to achieve. This leads us to doubt your claim of being a bona fide student in New Zealand. Please comment.
I am applying for visa permit to study in New Zealand because I want a career in hospitality industry. At the time I graduated, there was no training school for hospitality industry in Vietnam. Even now, except for a few study programs offered by private institutions, there is very little development of Hospitality industry as a separate and specialized academic and practical field of study. I am aware that study abroad in a specialized field is a difficult task to achieve and excel at; therefore I took time to prepare necessary skills. I found a job to be financially independent. I signed a 5 years contract so I can't have any formal full-time study. But I have no regrets because while I was working at Nghe An's Blind Association, I accumulated a lot of good experiences. In particular, a skill which I certainly cannot learn from school is how to lead the blind correctly. Actually, before anything else, I learned to dress in professional attire and to be patient and also friendly to everyone regardless of their appearance, status, attitudes because I'm likely the first person people interact with any time they call or visit. As a receptionist, I did routine tasks such as greet visitors, handle common situations such as answer the phone, make return phone calls, receive and transmit messages, get appointments ... Consequently, my communication skills improved very quickly. I also had a decent knowledge of the various applications in Microsoft Office in order to type correspondence, keep and update appointment logs... Besides, as the only one in the staff can use English, I had a chance participate in activities of many projects funded by foreign associations, especially, the Community - based Rehabilitation Project with the financial support from SRF (Swedish Association of the Visually - Impaired). As a result, I learned to communicate well in written language as well as foreign languages.
I think those skills will help me a lot but I will need all education experiences that accelerate and enhance my hospitality management knowledge, skills and attitudes, and fully prepare me for an exciting and successful career in hospitality management. And in today's ever-changing economy, the job market is more competitive than ever. It is not as easy to move into management as it once was, and it will most likely take more than a little hard work to land the position. Due to this, I wish to earn a diploma in Hotel Management. I intend to follow this up with a bachelor degree. I have discussed my choice of School with my family and have applied to Pacific International Hotel Management School (PIHMS) because of its professional hospitality environment, the industry placement programme, the number of successful PIHMS graduates and, especially, the suitable fee. After finishing the course, I will go back to Viet Nam to be near my family. I believe this course will offer me opportunities and practical experience to work in the area that I'm keen on. I wish for being success in my country.