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Posts by Chronopolis
Joined: Mar 13, 2011
Last Post: Mar 15, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 2
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Chronopolis   
Mar 15, 2011
Undergraduate / Game Programming as an influencial experience on the type of Science I wish to study [2]

Here is one section of Supplemental Application for UBC. Please critique and provide suggestions, especially on the tone, flow, and tense of the essay. Being able to see other essay structures on this website has been very helpful. I have 500 words if I need for an Additional Information, but I don't want to split the final portion of this description.

Describe one experience that influenced the kind of science you want to study. (250 words max.)
As of the present, my interests are decisively based in computer science, specifically software programming, a notion which is unquestionably consequence to my discovery and subsequent pursuit of game programming. Prior to this, my interests in science were confined those regarding a general nature, linked to an affinity with understanding and analysis.

I came across an Actionscript game-making tutorial, which detailed the creation a simple side-shooter flash game. I took a keen interest, especially at the prospect of being able to manipulate every component; indeed, initially I only experimented by modifying existing code. Later on, I was able to write my own code, an ventured on a tangent. I began drawing up the framework for an omni-directional scrolling shooter. Programming took an unprecedented role, translating into an outlet where I could synthesize items from my imagination, and then visually actuate them. While I pursued this endeavour on a largely intermittent basis, my passion for it never abated. Given that I started in October of 2008, this was a profound occurrence which I took substantial note of.

This enduring interest has led me to enter the Programming 11 course offered at our school, which has been satisfactory in almost every degree, with the exception of its biting pace. I recognize and marvel that what has evoked such a driving curiosity from me is but one facet of computer science. It is with this in mind that I apply to the UBC faculty of Science, with the intention of transcending the limits that currently are in existence.
Chronopolis   
Mar 15, 2011
Undergraduate / "to make responsible choices under peer pressure" - UBC BBA Ethical Dilemma [3]

I'm writing a BBA for UBC as well! Good job on the response!

One evening, I received a call from one of my fellow grade nine sisters over a major crisis. While I knew about her and her friends' outing, I did not think that things would get out of hand. They broke the boarding rules and had also involved alcohol.

Consider reversing these two sentences? The main point is that your "while" sentence needs an event before it.

They broke the boarding rules and had also involved alcohol I think there is a cleaner way of saying this. Not that sure, it might be alright as it is.

I struggled between maintaining the boundaries of trust that the students had in me, in light of themy responsibility that I had to tell you could use a word like express to the houseparents my concerns about the students' health
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