Scholarship / Football - extracurricular skills and experience you will bring to Rotman Commerce? [3]

Is my essay well written? It is supposed to be less than 400 words.

"Real thinking is hard -not only laborious but more often than not unsuccessful, leaving us with a frustrating sense of our own inadequacy and our ignorance, not to mention exposing these two raised eyebrows of others" the profound words of Bryan Magee. Being a member of the philosophy club thought me to think and live in a logical manner. ..

Please be critical....