Posts by Olyalya

Olyalya

Mar 27, 2011

Scholarship / Autobiography, significant event & professional goal ("a young adult author") [3]

Hi! I'm not a native speaker, but that's what I;ve noticed:

"As a child, people used to tell me ..." It should be "When I was a child, people...

I think it's better to bind second para with the previous one with a parenthesis, crossing to grandmother is too sharp.

I'm not sure that you need to stress so much your urgency for money in the last para. Scholarship is not charity, you need to show that you deserve it.

On the whole, I liked you essay). I think you've managed to show your spirit in it, spirit of a future journalist.

Olyalya

Mar 27, 2011

Undergraduate / Motivation letter for a summer school on sustainable development [4]

For the application I needed to write a brief essay to describe background and why I'm interested in the program.
Thank you in advance for any advice).

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When I start to study something I am up to my neck in the subject. But it is not every subject that I would want to learn. Practical orientation is the countdown for me. Before starting anything I need to know that the affair will have a concrete result - experience, future possibilities and so on. I think these traits determine what I have done and will do.

I suppose it is my all-or-nothing attitude that enabled me to be one of the top students both at school and in the university. Unfortunately, I need to say (and a lot of people would agree with me) that education in Belarus is more theoretical than practical. You don't notice it much while receiving basic education. As for higher education I am confident that getting excellent marks at the university doesn't guarantee that you are ready to face problems related to the subject in reality. I mean, if you've passed course of economics it doesn't mean that you now understand all the processes flowing in your country and in the world. That's why I decided to continue my education as a post graduate student - in my thesis I want to do something that is really applicable.

I also try to make hand-on approach part and parcel of my teaching. I take pleasure in watching my students discover existing rules of the world around. Teaching is extremely rewarding both on the personal and professional level. It teaches me to be tactful, patient and attentive to people. Also, while discussing topics with my students I always learn something new.

This utilitarian approach is the reason why I decided to participate in the program. I think studying the topic and collaborating with people from different countries and scientific fields will give me different, global prospective on the subjects I study and teach now. I would like to learn more about sustainable development and the methods of its attainment because it is the foundation of our future and we need to know how to make it better.

Olyalya

Mar 28, 2011

Undergraduate / Motivation letter for a summer school on sustainable development [4]

Thanks, Mark.

I also thought I should emphasize why I want to get this scholarship, but there is a limit of 350 words, and I don't know what to delete, everything seems important).

Olyalya

Mar 28, 2011

Essays / Need to write a sociology research paper about Bullying! [6]

These are some of thó questions also worth answering:

what are psychological aftereffects both for bully and for victim?

what is the role of other students who observe such cases?

also how are victims 'created'?

Olyalya

Mar 29, 2011

Scholarship / "teaching all the things I had learned" - how I can contribute to the diversity [3]

Hi!
I've read your essay, it's not so bad at all, you have a lot of ideas).

First of all, I think you change the beginning phrase, it is just repeating part of the quuestion. You can insert a sentence about what is service community, why it is important. And then go to the things you, particularly, can do.

"I learned how to be patience" - to be patient

"I would like that people learn those things" - that's not the right construction, but I can't think up now how to correct.

"I'd like that people become" - the same.

May you should state that helping people is not only about learning something new, but also about making someone happier, making world around you better)).

Olyalya

Mar 29, 2011

Student Talk / Length requirements for CV and any suggestions about how to make it successful. [6]

As far as I know CV is ordinary max 2 pages long.
It is usefull to divide the space in functional parts so as the eye of the person who is reading the CV could easily find the necessary part. All the statements shoild be concise and as short as possible.

By the way there are a lot of templates in the Internet, I also not long ago searched for them).

Olyalya

Apr 1, 2011

Graduate / "reach my goal of becoming a doctor" - post BA pre med program [4]

Hi, Jenny. I think your essay, experience you described are very persuasive, really.
I would just a little bit change the style at the beginning, when you describe the situation with your granny. It is like a book story, a kind of a thriller, but to my mind it should be more touching, not thrilling.

'she wrapped her head around the green bucket' - may be wrapped hands?
"Her death gave me the opportunity" - that's qiute sharp...may be "after her death I realised true values"... or smth like it.

Hope, you'll reach the goal).