Undergraduate / 'Being a pharmacist will help me help others' - Why I chose UCF? [6]

Please read my essay and tell me what I need to fix. I am going to send my application in very very soon (like in a week) and I wanted to make sure that everything is good. Be harsh if you need to! Thank you!

Question: Why did you choose UCF?

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Out of all the universities in Florida I knew that I wanted to go to the University of Central Florida mainly because of its proximity to my family and the molecular biology program that is offered. After seeing how successful my cousin has become and how great it feels to help people I knew that I wanted to become a pharmacist. By entering the University of Central Florida molecular biology program it will help me pursue my dream of becoming a pharmacist. I've always known that when I go to college I wanted to remain in Florida and be somewhere that wasn't so far away from my family. Since a majority of my family lives around Orlando it made it that much easier for me to choose the University of Central Florida as the college that I hope to attend.

My family is the most important people in my life; they have supported me in whatever I do and they are the people that shaped me into the person I am today. As I get older I've come to appreciate them more and realize that life without them wouldn't be the same. We have dinner together just about every night, we go on family vacations, and we always celebrate the holidays together. Because the University of Central Florida is only about an hour away from my family it will be more convenient for me to visit them and I would not have to miss out on the things that are going on in my family lives. Going to the University of Central Florida will not only allow me to be close to my family but allow me to experience the college life at the same time.

One of my cousins, Christine, is currently a student at the University of Central Florida and she has told me nothing but incredible stories about the school. After talking to her I cannot wait to attend the football games nor explore the numerous numbers of student groups on campus. I am proud to be Vietnamese and I have always wanted to learn more about the Asian culture. The University of Central Florida will make it so much easier for me to do so because of all the student groups that are offered. After looking at the websites of the University of Central Florida I became very interested in the Asian Student Association. I was even able to attend their Tour of Asia with my cousin Christine in September of 2008.

For as long as I can remember, I have always dreamed of pursuing a career that would allow me to help others in some way. When I was younger while other kids were playing with their Barbie dolls and cars I was busy playing doctor dress-up. It became even clearer to me that I wanted to become a pharmacist after I have seen how much my cousin Erin loves her job as a pharmacist and how much she helps people every day. The molecular biology program at the University of Central Florida will prepare me for becoming a pharmacist and get me one step closer to my dream career.

The University of Central Florida also provides many services that I find will be very helpful to me in the future. The recreational centers and the leisure pool will help me stay fit and healthy. A free shuttle system is located on campus to make the commute from class to class easier as well. And whenever I have any medical injuries or illnesses I will be able to receive assistance at the campus Health Center.

All in all, I know that the University of Central Florida is the perfect school for me. Attending the University of Central Florida will let me stay close to my family and simultaneously experience the college life. With the recreational center and Health Center that is provided by the school I will be able to stay healthy and receive medical care when needed. Most importantly the University of Central Florida's molecular biology program will help me achieve my goal of becoming a pharmacist.

Undergraduate / high school marching band - UF application essay! On topic? [NEW]

Hi! Can you please read my essay and correct me on grammer, spelling, etc? And see if my essay fits the topic? Thank you so much!

Essay Topic: Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.

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Some of our life experiences are insignificant and will fade away in time while others are momentous and will forever be embedded in our memories. But no matter how big or small the experience was they will shape us into the person that we are today. As I look back at all the things that I have gone through in the past 17 years of my life I realize that the determination and dedication that I have in everything I do and my organizational skills was all due to my experience in high school marching band.

Before entering high school I have played the flute for three years in middle school and when I decided to continue with band in high school I did not think much of it. I thought that marching band was just going to be another elective that I have chosen to take but I was wrong. Band taught me so much more than how to play the flute and march on the field. It was because of band that I have learned the importance of dedication, determination, and organization.

Marching band is like one big machine. When all the parts are working together the machine runs smoothly but if one of the parts are not cooperating the machine stops working. Marching band consists of hundreds of students and, just like a machine, if one member of the band decides to not give in 100% the band will fall apart. Each and every member must be dedicated to the band in order to carry out a triumphant show. I have learned that it takes dedication and determination not only to create a successful band but to live a successful life. I will always be at least 110% dedicated to what I do, from being in class everyday to making sure my work is done. And through my determination, ensure that every single thing I do in college is the best that it can be.

With all the tests, homework, and projects that must be completed in high school it becomes like a circus show to see who can effectively juggle everything. Being in band required me to put in a lot of my time; I had Tuesday night practices from 6-9, Thursday afterschool practices, Friday night football games, and various weekend march-a-thons. Because I had to worry about band and make sure that all of my school work is done I learned how to organize my schedule and indirectly my life. I was able to successfully participate in all of my band activities and still achieve an A average in all of my classes. The organizational skills that I took from being in band will help me tremendously in college because I will be able to juggle all of my classes, keep at least a B average, and even participate in some of the universities clubs.

With all of these attributes that I have gained through my high school marching band experience I will be able to contribute many things to the University of Florida as well as make my college experience a successful one. I will always be dedicated to all of my classes, be determined to make everything I do the best it can be, and remain organized while I'm doing everything. I want nothing more than to be a part of this Great Gator Nation and by applying all of my attributes make my mark as a student of the University of Florida.

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Thank you so much again!

Undergraduate / Our families have a major influence on who we are as a person - UCF essay! [5]

This is my last essay I must write for my UCF application and it would be great if you could read and edit it. Please tell me if this is a good essay and whether I stayed on topic. I also feel that I became too repetitive in some parts and added miscellaneous information so if you see anywhere that I am would you tell me how to fix that? Thank you so much!

Essay Topic: How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

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Whether or not we will admit it our families have a major influence on who we are as a person. It is our families ' history, culture, and environment that mold and shape us into the person that we are today. Respect, the importance of education, my values in life, and my personality are just some of the principles that I have gained through the influence of my family .

The way education is viewed in my family is passed down from one generation to another. When both of my parents were younger, back when they were living in Vietnam, education was their main focal point in life. My grandparents stressed the importance of education and made sure that each and every one of their children received one. Now, just like my grandparents, my parents' stresses to my brother and me how important education is and tries to make sure we receive a good education. It is because of my parents that education comes first in my life and why I strive everyday in school to get good grades .

Being raised in a Vietnamese culture has a big influence on my personality, from the way I act to the things I do . It is very important in the Vietnamese culture to respect elders and it is expected that every child does so. I was taught this at a very young age and it has been embedded in me ever since. I have come to be respectful not only to my elders but to everyone around me as well.

Growing up my parents were constantly telling me stories about how easy I have it in life, with all the technology that is given to me and privileges that I have. I have always found their stories to be annoying and felt that all they were trying to do was pester me but all along they just wanted me to learn a lesson. Through my parents stories I have learned to appreciate everything that is given to me and to never take anything or anyone for granted.

As I get older I have realized that it is because of my family that I am the person that I am today. Without my family I would have never cared about my education as much as I do now, learn to respect the people around me, and appreciate all that is given to me.

Undergraduate / 'A workaholic in a pharmacy' - UCF Burnett Honors College [NEW]

Prompt: It is Tuesday, March 14th, year 2028. Please describe the entries in your appointment book for the day
Please read my answer and tell me what I am missing and how I can improve it. I feel that the last part of my answer can use some help but I do not know what I can do to it to make it better. Thank you so much!

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After eating dinner and catching up with the characters in the latest novel that I am reading I grabbed my planner to check what is in store for me tomorrow. I flipped to March 14, 2028 and was surprised to find that I was off from work. I have been working so much lately that my friends and parents have called me a workaholic. It is not because I am a greedy person and want to work so much in order to get money but I sincerely do love what I do. Ever since I saw my cousin Erin walking across the stage at her graduation I knew that I wanted to become a pharmacist. Not only do I get to learn how different medications work but I also get the chance to help others in the process. Through medications I get the opportunity to heal people and make sure that their health is in tip top shape.

Of course, even though I am not working tomorrow I still have a ton of things to do. The first line in my planner says "6:00 A.M. ď Workout at the gym." Even though I dread waking up so early in the morning when I do not have work I try my best to keep myself healthy. I want to live a long a life and be able to tell my grandkids stories of all the things that I have gone through.

After my morning workout my planner says "9:00 A.M. ď Lunch with Heather and Kelli". Even though my friends and I live very different lives and have very busy schedules we make it so that we have breakfast with each other at least once a week. Being together gives us an opportunity to unwind and talk about our life, family, work, and everything else in between.

The next line in my planner says "1:00 P.M. ď Apartment hunting." During pharmacy school I was able to juggle my school work and a part-time job at the same time so I was able to save enough money to rent an apartment all for myself. I have been living here for about four years now and I feel that it is time for a change. Besides living three hours away from my family is not working for me. Growing up my family were the people that molded and shaped me into the person that I am today and I want to be there for them whenever they need help. Therefore when I go apartment shopping tomorrow I am going to look for places that are not that far away from them (but then again not that close either).

Speaking of my family, I quickly jotted down a note for myself reminding me that my parents have called me to ask if I can stop by for dinner at 6:00 P.M. after I am done looking at places. I cannot wait to see them, after a long hectic week it will be nice to spend some time with my parents and little brother. "Ring-ring!" Looking at the caller ID I see that it is my work that is calling me, probably someone calling me to ask if I can take over their shift one day and after answering the phone I was right. Stacy from work wanted me to take her day shift two days from now because she had a doctor's appointment. Thinking about how my family and friends have called me a workaholic I hesitated to say yes but then again I do love working as a pharmacist.