Undergraduate / 'Muddy and sweaty uniform' - Early Decision essay for dartmouth [4]

Hi guys, Im new here and rather clueless on to delive THE essay that will get me in. Do give me some feedback on this essay alright, be as critical as possible. I m gonna go with the "choose your own topic" topic on common apps but i have yet to think of a suitable one. feel free to give ur suggestions

common apps essay
My uniform was covered with mud and sweat. The stabbing hunger and
incessant bugging of sandflies kept me awake despite the fatigue from
a day of trekking through the Brunei jungle. This was but one of the
many sleepless nights I had during the Jungle Confidence Course (JCC).
The course required a team of 8 soldiers to undergo a 9 day jungle
navigation exercise supplied with only 2 days of food and water. I had
to go through it as it was a rite of passage for the infantry officer
cadets of the Singapore Army.
My memory of JCC is still fresh, particularly the events that
transpired on day 8. Day 8 was no different from the other days. It
was miserable. My team gathered after a day of building individual
shelters to plan our trek back to base on the next day. The lack of
sustenance and accumulated fatigue were affecting all of us. My
teammate, Ted, was in a particularly bad shape. A small guy to begin
with, he was now reduced to skin and bones. None of us could afford to
eat then as we had to preserve what was left for the long trek back to
base. However it was clear that he was going to faint if he did not
consume any ration. Ted was not just a good friend, he was a fellow
cadet who stood by my side as we endured the harsh and painful
trainings together. I felt a strong urge to give him my food. This was
a moment of great self struggle as my instinct of self preservation
tried its best to rein in this urge to help my friend. Caught in this
dilemma, my thoughts wandered back to the time I first set foot in
Singapore. As an quiet 10 year old immigrant from China, I found it
hard to adapt to this foreign English speaking land. My first year in
Singapore was miserable because I had no friends. Although things
ultimately turned out fine for me, I never forgot how important
friends were. In retrospect, those early experiences made all the
difference on day 8. My friend was suffering in this foreign land. I
had to help him. Secretly though, I felt a tinge of regret when I gave
him my ration, knowing that I will suffer on the trek back.
Eventually, all of us made it out of the jungle alive. Just a while
back, I found out through a casual conversation that my JCC teammates
secretly stashed food in my field pack when I was sleeping. This
discovery made me realise how insignificant my supposed sacrifice was
and how foolish I was to partially regret my choice back then. This
selfless gesture truly confirmed the power of friendship for me. It
was the strength of the bonds we formed as a team that gave us the
will and tenacity to survive this painful ordeal in Brunei.

Undergraduate / 'this doctor confirmed my expectations of a medical career' - Common Application [8]

Hi guys, I have decided to change my essay entirely. So this is essay 2.0. Do criticize and give your most honest feedback ok?

Deciding on what to do with my life is unbelievably difficult. Often I feel like a contestant on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" who is about to answer the much fabled million dollar question. The stakes are high, making the wrong choice could leave me regretting fro life. Fortunately, unlike the poor contestants on that show, I had the entire of my 20 years to make the right choice.

In the year leading up to my A level examination, I was overwrought by my inability to decide on a career and the major that would lead me to it. I naively believed that the course I choose to study would go on to define my life. This anxiety and frustration led me to settle temporarily on the career of a medical practitioner.


To be honest, this decision was based less on passion but rather a need for security and conformity. Becoming a doctor meant a prestigious, lucrative and perhaps meaningful career, a logical choice for a pragmatic Singaporean. Yet, I was not entirely comfortable with the lack of passion in making this "million dollar decision". Much like troubled contestants, I decided seek advice by "phoning a friend", whom in this case, happened to be a friend's doctor.

My conversation with this doctor confirmed my expectations of a medical career. He spoke of the generous monetary rewards, the respect that one commands as a doctor and the amazing job security that any doctor would enjoy. Essentially, I am set for life the moment I graduate from medical school.

Yet. the idea that my future is fixed and secure somehow terrified me. The journey that is life is about experiencing and exploring possibilities, both good and bad. I do not want my journey to end the moment I don the famed white robes. Becoming a doctor may mean that I might ever venture into another profession or lifestyle. Perhaps life's worst misery is to wake up knowing that the next forty years would be no different from the present.

Ironically, my peek into the ideal life taught me that it is the unknown possibilities that I must embrace.

I do not regret giving up medicine. Although it seems I have thrown away my best bet in this million dollar question, I felt great relief and freedom the moment I made up my mind, as if a brave new world opened up to me. The elimination of this choice has shaped me and given me a greater clarity in understanding myself. My tussles with my ambitions and aspirations have taught me that what I choose to study in university means very little in the grand scheme of things because I may very well change my mind again. Youth holds too much promise to be held back by the chains of a single decision. The real million dollar choice is to learn as much as possible, in an environment that will stimulate me to get in touch with all aspects of human knowledge.

I wish to be educated for life, not for a single job. Such an education would leave me with not one choice, but rather an infinite number of paths that could potentially lead me to a happy, satisfied life in the decades to come. That, is my final answer.