Undergraduate / "my masterpiece" - University of Illinois transfer [3]

my dream of dream of helping manage ...

Writing Feedback / The possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society? [4]

There are some social, financial and personal effects to be considered on both individual and social (twice) level.

etc. is a very casual saying and you used it twice really close in the same paragraph try rewording...

Writing Feedback / "All group & organization should function as teams" - Essay Evaluation [3]

is an effective way (space) to get ...

A team as the name goes is group of people working together for same goal.

It can be inferred from a soccer team or cricket team that have one common goal of winning the match and each individual is not individual centric and all players work as team. (sounds wordy and awkward)

Each player also shares specific responsibilities on ground an d makes the on spot(quick) decisions for team's benefit.