Undergraduate / 'Student Representative' - Common app activities [2]

Awsome start!
May i suggest that you add a stronger conclusion to explain how this experience has broadened your perspective and/or transform you.

Undergraduate / 'born of Chinese descent to major in Chinese' - UC transfer applications [5]

My parents, unable to speak Chinese, brought us ( whos us?) from America to Singapore to ensure the preservation of our chinese heritage.

This kind of modification can be applied to your other sentences as well! Otherwise this is a very good passage which throughly answers the question. :)