Undergraduate / 'optimistic, musical geek who can cook' Stanford Roommate [6]

So this is my essay for the Stanford Supplement:
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

This has by been the hardest essay for me thus far, and I'm not sure how well it came out. It's just a draft so any and all criticism is welcome.

Here it is:

So the first thing anyone should know about me is that I compulsively correct people's grammar and make groan-inducing puns. I know that these will annoy most people, but if you can bear them then I'm sure we will get along just fine. Other than my irritation (not aggravation) towards incorrect grammar, I'm a fairly easygoing guy. I rarely get angry at anything and will make an effort to get along with anyone. I will admit that I'm kind of a geek, but I imagine that most people going to Stanford are, so that's probably unsurprising. Even so, I would be happy to play video games or watch a hilariously bad movie with you, should you be interested. Also, if you can play an instrument, we should jam together sometime. I love making music, and I currently play in a mediocre rock band and my school's orchestra, both of which are tons of fun to be a part of. As a proud New Orleanian, you'll find that music is one of my favorite conversation topics, well, music and food. I love food, both eating and cooking it. Though you would never believe that if you saw me; I am probably the skinniest person you will ever meet. But that doesn't really matter as long as I can cook, right? There is no idiom I dislike more than "never trust a skinny cook." Rest assured, most people think I'm a good cook, and if we have access to any cooking supplies from our dorm, I will gladly cook for the both of us. I'll even take requests. So I guess this is pretty much who I am: an optimistic, musical geek who can cook. I hope you don't mind.

Undergraduate / "'Moving' Towards Success"-- Stanford Supplement on Academics [3]

Forgive the pun in my title. I can't help myself.

So here's my response to Stanford's first supplement question:
"Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development."

At the end of my sophomore year in high school, my family moved back to my home town, New Orleans. I had moved plenty of times before and never enjoyed it. So I was unhappy with the idea, especially since I figured the stress of a new school would probably be a death sentence academically.

The truth was that I actually had mediocre grades for my first two years of high school, and ironically, the move actually improved them. My first high school was a massive and competitive public school in a suburb of Washington DC where tons of very intelligent and successful students went. I figured that I could never compete with any of them so I remained lazy and generally unmotivated. Sure I got mostly B's and took a few advanced math classes, but I certainly didn't have high aspirations for the future. I wanted to do better, but I figured that I just wasn't quite as smart as some of the others in my class.

After two years of this, I found myself at a new school and realized that this gave me an opportunity to start anew. I could shed my previous laziness and try to become one of those people that were always too smart to compete with. So I did. I began my junior year promising myself that I would try as hard as I could to succeed. I took difficult classes and did whatever it took to ace them, and at the end of the year I surprised everyone, even myself, with my success. All it took to be like those geniuses from my old school was motivation. I was no smarter than I was before, just more mature.

Earlier this month, I was watching a movie with a small child I was babysitting, and one of the characters said, "It's amazing what you can do if you try!" I chuckled to myself. Here was a talking frog telling some kid what took me sixteen years and move to discover. Too bad I didn't watch this movie four years ago.

Please critique this essay as harshly as you see fit. Any help is better than none. Also, feel free to ask me to look over any of yours. I'd be happy to help out, especially with grammar.

Undergraduate / "Offered Shoes"- Common App Essay [3]

I chose the first prompt from the common app's list which is "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."

Here's my essay:

When I was eight years old, I almost died. At least, this is what I told everyone for about two years after I fell into the creek. I was eight and quite prone to exaggeration. At the time, I was living in a suburb of Pittsburg, when my friend, Rob, and I decided it would be fun to play in our neighborhood creek during a particularly nasty rainstorm. When we arrived, the rain was coming down in sheets and our peaceful little brook was replaced with a river, but we weren't worried. We had trekked up and down the creek countless times under better conditions. What was a little rain?

Rob was a few years older than I, and in an effort to impress him, I told him I was going into the water to see how hard it was to wade upstream. So without a second thought I hopped right into the waist-high, muddy water and barely managed to hold my ground. The feel of the cold creek water rushing past my legs was exhilarating.

Ignoring what little common sense I had, I began trudging upstream and managed to get about five feet before I stepped on a loose, slippery rock and lost my balance. Then I was on my back, completely at the mercy of the enraged creek. I struggled to keep my head above water, catching glimpses of Rob running down the bank and trying to think of a way he could help. He then grabbed a thorn bush on the edge of the water and dove in after me. Panicked and awestruck at Rob's willingness to forget pain and fear to save me, I grabbed his outstretched hand. Together, we climbed over the bush and onto shore.

Exhausted and still in shock, I lay on the ground as the rain still poured on my face. I managed to get my bearings and sit up only to start sobbing. The creek had washed away my shoes; the walk through a quarter mile of woods back to my house was not going to be fun. I turned to notice that Rob, smiling and bloodied, was offering me his shoes.

Two years after Rob pulled me out of that creek, I legitimately thought that I would have died if he had not been there; now, it seems a bit silly to think that that creek could have killed me, but the sentiment still stands. Rob put himself in immediate danger to pull me out of it. This is his legacy, and it has changed me.

Prior to the incident, I was not a particularly good friend. I distinctly remember spending much of my early childhood as selfish, irritable, and sometimes even mean, but most of all, I didn't really know how friendship even worked. In a sense, I saw my friends as toys, someone to have fun with but not really take seriously. I enjoyed having friends but in a selfish way; I never thought about my friendships from the other person's point of view. I saw friendships as petty, and all it took was a traumatic event and an act of heroism to see things differently.

Rob's actions gave me a new respect for friendship as an idea. It suddenly went beyond mere entertainment; it became about respect and a willingness to aid one another. Rob unknowingly taught me how to be a better friend and person in general. And in his honor, I now hold my friends in high esteem and feel deeply loyal to all of them. I am always willing to make personal sacrifices for each of their sakes. I try to be there for my friends whenever they need me, because (as trite as it sounds) I would be nowhere without them. I experienced what a truly good friend is capable of that day, and I've tried to model myself off of this ideal ever since.

Yeah I know it's cheesy, but the college people I've spoken to didn't mind. Criticism is welcome and encouraged. Thanks!