Posts by lovewater16

lovewater16

Oct 22, 2011

Undergraduate / 'Teaching swimming lessons' - Common App Short Answer -- Extracurricular Activity [3]

Help editing please?

"Garrison? Where'd you go?" I spin around, desperately scanning the surface of the water for movement.
"Right here!" shouts a voice behind me. I turn, and am unexpectedly greeted with splashes straight to the face. As I wipe the water from my eyes, I catch a glimpse of that huge smile and hear the contagious laugh that always convinces me to continue coaching, no matter how much the chlorine burns my eyes.

Teaching swimming lessons with Special Olympics not only has provided me with the opportunity to work with special needs kids, but also has taught me the importance of patience and dedication while helping others. The expression of excitement that paints a child's face as he finishes a lap in record time and punches the air above his head with pure delight is reward enough for the hours of coaching I commit. Knowing that my patience in the water has helped mentally disabled kids overcome adversity and provided them with a new friend never keeps me from coming back to the pool for practice.

Right now it's at 1004 characters (max is 1000), so I need to cut down something!

lovewater16

Oct 23, 2011

Undergraduate / 'Being a member of PALs' - Apply Texas-Common App [5]

Being a member of PALs has given me opportunities that I would have not had otherwise. PALs is an organization dedicated to assisting peers and the community; we mentor children, volunteer, and act as leaders and role models. I joined PALs because I like children and I thought it would look good on my college applications, but I did not realize how much more I would get out of the program.

I was assigned three PALees, elementary students that needed assistance in some form or another. There seemed to be nothing wrong my change to "the" instead two girls, but there was something different about my third PALee, Casey. He was shy with me and didn't want to open up this part seems a little redundant; if he's shy, then obviously he won't want to open up. maybe change/omit? . Whenever I wanted to talk I practically had to pry information out of him. I brought different games and activities, things a second grade boy should like. He rejected it(them) all. This led me to think that Casey didn't want me as his PAL and that I wasn't making a difference.

One Tuesday, I brought SpongeBob dominoes for us to play; he won the first game and I won the second. After the second game he began to cry and pout, so I asked, "Is it because you didn't win both games?" Casey didn't answer me (omit) , so we sat in silence. I asked if he wanted to play again, but he only wanted to be taken back to class. On the sad walk back, Casey asked if I still loved him and if I was mad at him because he wanted to go back. That he was having a bad day and was sorry. The previous sentence is a fragment. Not sure if that's the syntax you are going for... I had never thought that a second grade boy could break my heart in two. It was then that I realized that Casey did care about me visiting , I had just not found a way to reach him on his level yet. I assured Casey that I did and we talked for the remainder of our visit.

After that, my visits significantly improved with Casey and we always had a lot of fun together. Being Casey's PAL taught me that we impact others in the smallest ways. Casey might not always want to play games and talk to me, but simply being there can make a huge impact on someone. Because of Casey, I try to be impactful and make a difference.

yes, conclusion is a little weak. "making a difference" can be very open ended