Undergraduate / 'the Ashes and Snow exhibition' - photography (intended major) [2]

held my gaze for what seemed like forever an eternity.

So I think it's good overall. I would change your topic sentence... I can see what you're trying to do with it but it comes off as a kind of weak attempt to apply a literary technique.

Also maybe come up with a stronger concluding sentence? You want to really send your essay off with a bang.

Well, good luck with everything.