Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by shreya101
Joined: Nov 25, 2011
Last Post: Nov 25, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: United Arab Emirates

Displayed posts: 4
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shreya101   
Nov 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'education and opportunities engineering' Why interested in attending Georgia... [3]

1) Why are you interested in attending Georgia and what do you hope to contribute to our community?
When I was in my Kindergarten I got my first award of General Proficiency from school for being an outstanding student. My parents were very proud of me that day. I still remember my Dad's words 'Keep working hard and achieve more laurels because it is only premier education that can make you reach that beautiful goal in your life'. Ever since then I have dreamt about various goals in my life, some of them I have achieved but other few I have not. Among them was my dream to study in one of the best engineering colleges in the world because I knew that only then would I get the best taste of success in life. I also believe that whatever achievements and laurels I have achieved and the kind of person I am today is because of the opportunities that the society has given me. Due to this same reason, I have always wanted to do something in life that would be beneficial for the society. This is one reason that I want to attend Georgia as I believe I can get the education and opportunities for development that I had always dreamt for at Georgia. Another thing I enjoy the most is meeting different people and keeping busy with various activities with them. I am confident that whenever I get the opportunity I will try my best to work with the people of Georgia and help in their betterment in whatever way I can.

I am going a little above the limit, can someone help me edit the unnecessary sentences. And is the idea that I have portrayed here right??Is this what they expect?I am an individual who has always undertaken whatever opportunity I have got. My friends even call me a workaholic cause U indulge myself soo much in whatever project I undertake for the people around me. Are these ideas of my true self portrayed well in my above essayy...really really need advise..!!!
shreya101   
Nov 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am bewildered' - commonapp essay-My love of nature [23]

i am new with college essays...but i ask for ur major as i was wondering what are you trying to portray about yourself or what do you actuaaly want the admission officers to understand from here...??

The essay is indeed well written...with a lot of imagery..n pretty good transition too..n according to me might get you an admission for literature major...or journalism etc etc...

I an new here...n i don't actually know what is best...but jst felt like giving in my suggestion=)
shreya101   
Nov 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Tawakkul Karman, a Yemeni journalist' - UT, something of importance to you [6]

The issue chosen is good and well written...and I particularly like the phrase '...nile of inspiratioon and ambition'
But I feel you need to make the essay a lot more personal...anybody could google about the personality and write an essay...but to make it better you need to personalise by starting with an introduction saying how you got to know about this personality...maybe something like

I was casually flipping through the pages of the newspaper when I saw an image of woman who held the nobel prize medal high. The title along with it that said ***********************....etc etc So something like that would help..!!!nyway best of luck..!!
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