randompersonbob
Nov 27, 2011
Undergraduate / Emory Supplement: Favorite Amusement Park Ride [2]
One of the hardest things I had to deal with in writing this essay was the 250 word limit; it feels I skimped on a lot of the detail on the second part of the prompt. Nonetheless, here is my first draft addressing the prompt "What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? How does this reflect your approach to life?"
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Looking down from my height, I could see for miles around me, the people little more than pinpricks on the ground. I grit my teeth. This definitely looked better from the ground. But I have always been one to try everything firsthand, and see it through to the end no matter what. Not that I had a choice right now. My seat slowly easing to a halt, I hang suspended more than three hundred feet in the air. Feeling slightly nervous as I do before the beginning of any ride, I glance up at big blue letters suspended on the steel lattice: Supreme Scream. The person next to me is clearly terrified, slunk back into his seat. I do not disparage him for his attitude toward the ride; to each his own.
Suddenly I'm plummeting like a rock through the air, the wind and the ride's namesakes blasting into my ears. Then, suddenly grinding to a halt, I'm slowly climbing back up again. Then I plummet for another fifty feet. But no matter how fast or hard the fall, I always get back up.
My stomach heaves after a sudden stop following particularly nasty drop. Though I wish I could exert some control over the ride - to prevent any more plunges like that - I do not overly fret about things out of my control. So I sit back and enjoy the ride, through all its ups and downs.
One of the hardest things I had to deal with in writing this essay was the 250 word limit; it feels I skimped on a lot of the detail on the second part of the prompt. Nonetheless, here is my first draft addressing the prompt "What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? How does this reflect your approach to life?"
______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________
Looking down from my height, I could see for miles around me, the people little more than pinpricks on the ground. I grit my teeth. This definitely looked better from the ground. But I have always been one to try everything firsthand, and see it through to the end no matter what. Not that I had a choice right now. My seat slowly easing to a halt, I hang suspended more than three hundred feet in the air. Feeling slightly nervous as I do before the beginning of any ride, I glance up at big blue letters suspended on the steel lattice: Supreme Scream. The person next to me is clearly terrified, slunk back into his seat. I do not disparage him for his attitude toward the ride; to each his own.
Suddenly I'm plummeting like a rock through the air, the wind and the ride's namesakes blasting into my ears. Then, suddenly grinding to a halt, I'm slowly climbing back up again. Then I plummet for another fifty feet. But no matter how fast or hard the fall, I always get back up.
My stomach heaves after a sudden stop following particularly nasty drop. Though I wish I could exert some control over the ride - to prevent any more plunges like that - I do not overly fret about things out of my control. So I sit back and enjoy the ride, through all its ups and downs.