orangeuglado
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'No camera for me' or 'Scared' - which uc prompt #2 [NEW]
ok so im kind of stuck on which essay i should submit, i think the first one has more of a straightforward answer but it seems a little typical. the other one i feel like is more personal, but im not sure if i answered the prompt as much or if i didn't talk about how it relates to me enough? can anyone tell me which essay could have more potential as well as any changes i should make? thanks!
Prompt #2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is
important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does
it relate to the person you are?
Sometimes people must go through hardships, whether it be major or minor, to attain their goals. At the end of high school, I developed an interest in photography. To further pursue my hobby, I had my eyes set on a digital single lens reflex camera. But alas, everything comes with a price, and this price would not be cheap. My parents refused to purchase the camera for me and told me that if I wanted one, I would have to earn it. They wanted me to understand that people have to work for the things they want. Therefore I applied for jobs, and was hired by Century Theaters, the local theater near my home. Little did I know, this job would help me become a better student.
Within three weeks of starting, because I was a quick learner, I was moved from serving the food in concessions to cashier - a position that usually required two months of working. After about two months of working at the theaters, the managers put me in satellite. Satellite was for the people who did not need to be watched; they were able to handle a concessions stand on their own. At first, this seemed intimidating because I worked with very few people or sometimes even alone. It was like running my own concessions area without the managers. But over time, I learned to handle this area on my own with no trouble. As time passed by, I also received more hours per week. I was happy because the managers usually gave more hours to the employees they valued. Even though this allowed me to earn more money, it also meant that I spent more hours at the theaters.
Because I was working part time and attending school, there was less time for me to study, yet I adapted by learning to manage my time efficiently. In the past, I would spend my free time surfing the Internet or catching up on shows that I had missed the week before. After getting a job, I focused on my studies and spent that extra time to catch up on schoolwork. I knew that I could not give up on getting the camera so I changed my old habits of laziness.
After a few months, I finally bought the camera I wanted, and I was proud to have earned every penny that I spent on it. However, even now, I still follow the work ethic I developed during my time at the theaters. In college, I came across a major I liked, Biology, and my experiences at the theaters taught me to manage my time for the rigorous courses that were required for this major. Because I learned to use my time competently, it allows me to give back to the community through volunteer work.
For some, a part time job during school is trivial. However, I am fortunate enough to appreciate how this job has taught me to make use of my time and work diligently so I can focus on not only education, but also be involved in other things like school events or the community.
____
"Scared". This is the word that described me for most of my life. Growing up, I was unsure of what I wanted to study. So when I enrolled at De Anza College, I took courses in which I succeeded. Later that year, I took a chemistry course that I found to be very appealing. This is when I knew I wanted to do something in the science field. However, my biggest fear was failing in something I wanted to do - because if I did, I would have no one to blame except myself. My parents were never really the ones to set out a strict plan, but they constantly compared my grades to those of others discouraged me from trying more because I felt like I would not be good enough for what it was that I wanted to do. However, all that changed with one phone call.
During my second year of college, I received a phone call informing me that my sister had been admitted into the emergency room. Up to this date, she seemed perfectly healthy. When my family arrived at the hospital, the doctors informed us that she had a ruptured disk in her spine. Because the injury was millimeters away from her spinal nerves, walking was considered a severe risk to her health and it was unclear on when or if she would be able to walk again. Growing up, I was never really close to her because of the fact that my parents always compared me to her, but I was more worried and scared than I have ever been.
So for the next few months, she had no choice but to lie in bed - unable to continue her studies at graduate school. However, despite this setback, she never stopped trying. Everyday she would attempt to get up. If she was not able to, she still studied the material she had to learn, even through all the physical pain.
Fortunately, a few weeks later, she healed. What had happened to her was temporary, but what I learned from her will stay with me forever.
For the first time, there was something that had an influence on the way that I thought. All this time, I had been scared to try the major that I truly wanted - biochemistry. I realized I should not be afraid of pursing that path, especially when there are others out there who might not even have the chance to do so. Even if I failed, I would at least have the satisfaction of knowing that I did not give up so easily. My sister came across an obstacle, but she never gave up and I was able to learn from her.
With this newfound determination, I changed my old habits of laziness. I no longer spent my free time surfing the Internet or watching television. I knew that if I wanted to make things happen it would take a lot of hard work. I started visiting my teachers' office hours to learn more about the subject. I discovered that it did not matter whether others thought I would succeed or fail, it only mattered how I saw myself and whether I persevered.
Not being able to live ones dream could turn out to be the biggest nightmare. Because of my sister, I know now that life is unexpected and regardless of what happens, I will not be afraid of taking chances nor will I relinquish.
ok so im kind of stuck on which essay i should submit, i think the first one has more of a straightforward answer but it seems a little typical. the other one i feel like is more personal, but im not sure if i answered the prompt as much or if i didn't talk about how it relates to me enough? can anyone tell me which essay could have more potential as well as any changes i should make? thanks!
Prompt #2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is
important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does
it relate to the person you are?
Sometimes people must go through hardships, whether it be major or minor, to attain their goals. At the end of high school, I developed an interest in photography. To further pursue my hobby, I had my eyes set on a digital single lens reflex camera. But alas, everything comes with a price, and this price would not be cheap. My parents refused to purchase the camera for me and told me that if I wanted one, I would have to earn it. They wanted me to understand that people have to work for the things they want. Therefore I applied for jobs, and was hired by Century Theaters, the local theater near my home. Little did I know, this job would help me become a better student.
Within three weeks of starting, because I was a quick learner, I was moved from serving the food in concessions to cashier - a position that usually required two months of working. After about two months of working at the theaters, the managers put me in satellite. Satellite was for the people who did not need to be watched; they were able to handle a concessions stand on their own. At first, this seemed intimidating because I worked with very few people or sometimes even alone. It was like running my own concessions area without the managers. But over time, I learned to handle this area on my own with no trouble. As time passed by, I also received more hours per week. I was happy because the managers usually gave more hours to the employees they valued. Even though this allowed me to earn more money, it also meant that I spent more hours at the theaters.
Because I was working part time and attending school, there was less time for me to study, yet I adapted by learning to manage my time efficiently. In the past, I would spend my free time surfing the Internet or catching up on shows that I had missed the week before. After getting a job, I focused on my studies and spent that extra time to catch up on schoolwork. I knew that I could not give up on getting the camera so I changed my old habits of laziness.
After a few months, I finally bought the camera I wanted, and I was proud to have earned every penny that I spent on it. However, even now, I still follow the work ethic I developed during my time at the theaters. In college, I came across a major I liked, Biology, and my experiences at the theaters taught me to manage my time for the rigorous courses that were required for this major. Because I learned to use my time competently, it allows me to give back to the community through volunteer work.
For some, a part time job during school is trivial. However, I am fortunate enough to appreciate how this job has taught me to make use of my time and work diligently so I can focus on not only education, but also be involved in other things like school events or the community.
____
"Scared". This is the word that described me for most of my life. Growing up, I was unsure of what I wanted to study. So when I enrolled at De Anza College, I took courses in which I succeeded. Later that year, I took a chemistry course that I found to be very appealing. This is when I knew I wanted to do something in the science field. However, my biggest fear was failing in something I wanted to do - because if I did, I would have no one to blame except myself. My parents were never really the ones to set out a strict plan, but they constantly compared my grades to those of others discouraged me from trying more because I felt like I would not be good enough for what it was that I wanted to do. However, all that changed with one phone call.
During my second year of college, I received a phone call informing me that my sister had been admitted into the emergency room. Up to this date, she seemed perfectly healthy. When my family arrived at the hospital, the doctors informed us that she had a ruptured disk in her spine. Because the injury was millimeters away from her spinal nerves, walking was considered a severe risk to her health and it was unclear on when or if she would be able to walk again. Growing up, I was never really close to her because of the fact that my parents always compared me to her, but I was more worried and scared than I have ever been.
So for the next few months, she had no choice but to lie in bed - unable to continue her studies at graduate school. However, despite this setback, she never stopped trying. Everyday she would attempt to get up. If she was not able to, she still studied the material she had to learn, even through all the physical pain.
Fortunately, a few weeks later, she healed. What had happened to her was temporary, but what I learned from her will stay with me forever.
For the first time, there was something that had an influence on the way that I thought. All this time, I had been scared to try the major that I truly wanted - biochemistry. I realized I should not be afraid of pursing that path, especially when there are others out there who might not even have the chance to do so. Even if I failed, I would at least have the satisfaction of knowing that I did not give up so easily. My sister came across an obstacle, but she never gave up and I was able to learn from her.
With this newfound determination, I changed my old habits of laziness. I no longer spent my free time surfing the Internet or watching television. I knew that if I wanted to make things happen it would take a lot of hard work. I started visiting my teachers' office hours to learn more about the subject. I discovered that it did not matter whether others thought I would succeed or fail, it only mattered how I saw myself and whether I persevered.
Not being able to live ones dream could turn out to be the biggest nightmare. Because of my sister, I know now that life is unexpected and regardless of what happens, I will not be afraid of taking chances nor will I relinquish.