onioninlay
Nov 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'An internship in a dentist office' - CommonApp Essay for Stony Brook [8]
I am not very strong in essay writing, your feedback will be greatly appreciated.
Prompt: "Briefly state why you are considering Stony Brook University"
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What appeals to me the most about Stony Brook University is its Scholars for Dental Medicine program.
An internship in a dentist office brought me a close-up look at a job as a dentist. I love playing flute and coding computer, former rely on hands and later on brain. Practicing dental surgery on patients with my hands, diagnosing disease and helping people reduce their pains with my brain, I felt dentistry is my flute and computer, and the career fit my personality perfectly. The program provides an integrated eight-year study for determined students interested in attending dental school, which is just what I want.
A college visit assured Stony Brook University on top of my choices. I like its quiet, nice and green campus which perfectly sits in suburb of NYC. I love the atmosphere of diversity, too, not only because I have minority background, but also I believe diversity goes beyond just ethnicity. It will be beneficial of experiencing different cultures, ways of thinking and perceptions from the diverse student body. All aspect of the Stony Brook University seems to fit my image of a perfect university and it is still growing, I want to be a part of the growing and excel my studies here.
I am not very strong in essay writing, your feedback will be greatly appreciated.
Prompt: "Briefly state why you are considering Stony Brook University"
====================================================================== ===
What appeals to me the most about Stony Brook University is its Scholars for Dental Medicine program.
An internship in a dentist office brought me a close-up look at a job as a dentist. I love playing flute and coding computer, former rely on hands and later on brain. Practicing dental surgery on patients with my hands, diagnosing disease and helping people reduce their pains with my brain, I felt dentistry is my flute and computer, and the career fit my personality perfectly. The program provides an integrated eight-year study for determined students interested in attending dental school, which is just what I want.
A college visit assured Stony Brook University on top of my choices. I like its quiet, nice and green campus which perfectly sits in suburb of NYC. I love the atmosphere of diversity, too, not only because I have minority background, but also I believe diversity goes beyond just ethnicity. It will be beneficial of experiencing different cultures, ways of thinking and perceptions from the diverse student body. All aspect of the Stony Brook University seems to fit my image of a perfect university and it is still growing, I want to be a part of the growing and excel my studies here.