Posts by joe19841010

joe19841010

Jan 15, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'the new supermarket in Garlsdon town positions' - Cambridge IELTS 5 writing [3]

Dear all, plz give me some suggestions for this essay for ielts test.

The map is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket(S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible site for the supermarket.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map illustrates 2 possible positions for the new supermarket in Garlsdon town. One is in the northwest countryside, another is in the centre of the town.The Garlsdon has 65,000 population, which is 10,000 in Hindon, 15,000 and 29,000 in Brasdon and Cransdon respectively.

There are four main areas in the town, country side is around the housing place, and the town centre is proximity in the middle of the town, also there are 2 industries in each northern and southern part.

Without a doubt, there is a railway for both 2 possible locations for the residents, however, the s2 spot is in no traffic zone and has main roads to the different 3 cities, there is only 12 km to Kindon, and 16km to Bransdon, 25 km to Cransdon.

To sum up, both 2 sites for the new supermarket have their own advantages, I think the distance and population will be the factors that influence the final decision to built a supermarket.

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joe19841010

Mar 21, 2012

Writing Feedback / The reason why nearly half of married couples in USA get divorced - essay [4]

For example, my uncle has to work for about 10 hours => EVERYDAY? COULD BE SPECIFIC
so he almost didn't meet his wife and now, they got divorced. In fact, normally, men have to work to take care of their family and they attempt to earn money as much as they can to have a better life.

joe19841010

Mar 22, 2012

Writing Feedback / All aspects considering their parents or schools essay [2]

Children shod should give respect to their the elders and mix up with their neighbors.

Good behavior starts at begin with a very young age of a child.

some Some people think it is the responsibility of every parent parents that they should add qualities to their child to become social.

if both mom and dad are working are not able to , they're not able to give much time to their children , their children become rude and suffers from serious behavioral problems.

They do what they want to do, like they misbehave with teachers in the school, they usually don't attend absent their classes and walk on the streets in a school time.

it is also important for any every child that they must get a good quality education starting from the begging of life.

In conclusion and in my opinion=> I think you can chose one of them to use in the article, not both together

Schools and parents should do coorporative work side by side to check and keep a close eye on the behavior of a child like parents shout attend parents teachers meetings at regular interval and meat their teachers to take a performance report a a child.