Undergraduate / 'The voice of the jury' - Dancing - Personal Statement [4]

This is my personal statement with the topic 5 on Common Application:
"A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you."

DANCING
"Hey, get ready! The show is starting"
My friend, Minh opened the door, warned me and closed it, leaving me there alone. Standing in the changing room, I was totally panicked. I could not find my tuxedo. Without it, I could not perform legally. Three years of practicing might be wasted because of my tendency to put thing where I could never seem to find them. Dazed and confused, I stood like a stone wall, didn't have a clue what to do. My cell phone rang relentlessly; my friends had noticed my disappearance. This was my final competition as a high school student. This would be my last chance to shine and I was about to ruin it.

In that moment, Memories raced through my head. I remembered the time when I was just a beginner, practicing a new extreme technique from the teachers. Eventually, I learned not to imitate my teacher's step and instead learned to mimic his emotions.

I liked to go to the studio alone every weekend to dance and to practice new technique with my partner. We would share the headphones, one earpiece each, dancing to everything from the waltz to quickstep and imagined a crowd cheering us on.

"All candidates please get down the court to complete the final procedures!"

The voice of the jury pulled me back from my recollections. Looking for the tux took me so much time that I was not able to rehearse with my partner anymore. I put on another backup suit and ran quickly to the stage. The court was full of people; the crowd screamed out so loudly that I could barely hear my friends calling me. I saw my competitors. I could feel the confidence and a little bit of arrogance in their 6-or-7-years-of-training faces. "It is my chance. It is my time to shine." I was afraid that if I didn't treasure this moment, I would regret it forever. I reached out my hand, held my partner's and we started to dance.

Suddenly, another couple crossed in front of us and interfered with our rhythm. I was bewildered and I could feel the audience staring at me. I tried to calm down and we started over. I closed my eyes, let the music fill me and the crowd melted away. Then I opened my eyes; there were no more judges, or competitors. Surrounding me were couples in elegant black tuxes and gorgeous white dress. All were happily enjoying the ball. I realized that I need not worry about the techniques, or any other lofty meanings. I relaxed and danced mindlessly, unconcerned, relaxed. I was free and I was happy.

And there were tears on my partner's cheek after that final dance. I put my arm around her waist and we stood on the podium to receive the bronze medal. The wild crowd was screaming loudly but I could not hear anything. In that moment, I knew that we had spent our last time together well. We did not acquire the highest prize but I achieved something more. Dancing taught me that there is no reason to be overly concerned. In the moment of truth, the thing that matter weren't the judges, the audience, or the competitors, it was enjoying the little things.

Undergraduate / 'the center for intellectual disabled children' - Volunteer - Short Answer [6]

Can you guys check out my short answer? Any grammar error, confusion idea or something? Thanks

I worked at the center for intellectual disabled children for one year. On the first day, I couldn't find any different between them and normal children. They were playing, having fun, and crying like any others. But when I took care of them directly, I found out that their life was very hard. Some five years old kids were small like new born babies, other kids couldn't speak a word. This might still be normal when they were young, but what will happen when they grow up? Sometimes, I looked at them and imagined a poor, slender kid strolling across the street, begging for money to live through day. Life is random; natural endowments and society demands create a lottery which largely polarizes the fortune of people. Some gets a happy life, some enjoys the wealth, and some has to suffer a difficult life. Having the better luck than many others, I feel immoral to sit there and brag about my winning of the lottery. I want to share it, help the disabled children to have a much better life.