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Posts by Smithsmithsmith
Joined: Dec 14, 2011
Last Post: Dec 16, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: United Kingdom (Great Britain)

Displayed posts: 4
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Smithsmithsmith   
Dec 15, 2011
Undergraduate / My experience of moving to England at the age of 7 and how it has shaped who I am [3]

Hi, this is my CommonApp 250-500word essay. I'd be really grateful for any criticism/advice! Thanks for your time

I'm often asked, 'do you think of yourself as English or Japanese?' and I find it difficult to answer. What is 'English'? What is 'Japanese'? It's impossible to simply separate myself into those two categories but both have undoubtedly contributed to shaping who I am today.

Having been born and raised in busy Tokyo, the sudden move to the quiet countryside in England (my father's native country) came as a huge culture-shock to my seven year old self. Despite the fact that I spoke very little English I mastered the language with an alarming pace and settled into my new school with ease. A few things, however, came as a challenge to me. Firstly, the food, along with the weather was appalling; it seemed that English children's diets consisted solely of snacks such as crisps, sweets, and the occasional peanut-butter sandwich.

However, my desire to be like my new western friends must have quickly eroded any doubts because much to my Japanese mother's disdain, I soon began to prefer white bread over brown and developed a taste for chocolate and fizzy drinks. In retrospect, I'm grateful for having been exposed to two wildly differing cultures because it has given me an open-minded attitude and an eagerness to try different things, not least in food; I impressed my Nigerian friends by trying their spicy stewed snails and our love for cooking and food has helped us bond. Unlike the usual Japanese practice of concentrating on one sport at high school, I enjoy trying a different sport each term because it enables me to stretch my limits and constantly expand my horizons; rowing has been my most challenging sport so far but I am also looking forward to trying women's American Football one day as it is practically non-existent in England!

Having a grasp of the Japanese language has enabled me to experience manga (Japanese comic books) and films in their original form, giving me a greater understanding of their context and helping me appreciate their beauty all the more. All too often manga is dismissed as a 'lesser' art form but I think everyone could benefit from reading skilful and inspirational works of great masters like Tezuka Osamu. My desire to make manga more accessible has driven me to translate a few works online for people who cannot buy hardcopies in their own country and I am always delighted to introduce my friends to Miyazaki Hayao's films which have been extremely influential to me throughout my life.

Although I've settled into a relatively western lifestyle, now and again I'm reminded of my Japanese heritage like when the topic of best childhood television programmes arose in a conversation one day. It sparked a fierce debate among my friends; my Asian friends and I argued that Anpanman (literally 'bean-curd-bread man') was a better hero than Noddy or the Telly Tubbies could ever be and it's silly things like this that make me really glad of my upbringing.
Smithsmithsmith   
Dec 15, 2011
Undergraduate / My experience of moving to England at the age of 7 and how it has shaped who I am [3]

Thanks for the feedback! I wasn't sure about that bit either; I genuinely am interested in manga and Japanese films and have been from a yound age so I wanted to get that across but at the same time I don't want to be dumped into the Japanophile/ shoujo manga/anime category so I tried to distinguish myself by emphasizing Miyazaki and Tezuka.

But hey, I might just shorten it and add some other stuff instead! :)
Smithsmithsmith   
Dec 16, 2011
Undergraduate / "Thank goodness!" - Very short Columbia university prompt [4]

I love it! You write really well and manage to keep it personal; well done!

Just a one thing: I no longer see a timid girl who sat in obscurity in class; instead I see a girl who now takes every opportunity to listen and share her thoughts with her teachers and peers.

I think it would work better as ' I am no longer the timid girl...' but maybe you wanted that repetition.

Also maybe put a 'has' as in 'reading the hobbit has helped me'

but overall it's great

I'd be so grateful if you could take the time to read mine :)
Smithsmithsmith   
Dec 16, 2011
Undergraduate / 'something new to uncover' - Film as my extracurricular activity [2]

Hi, this is my CommonApp short answer essay. Any criticism welcome!

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Great films are hard to come by. I don't mean the kind of films you enjoy while watching then forget all about afterwards. No. A truly great film makes me feel and think. The experience is so powerful that it stays in my mind all the way out of the cinema, throughout the train journey home, and makes me want to tell the first person I see all about it. That, I think, is good filmmaking. For me, watching films is an 'activity', just like reading a book or playing an instrument; it requires a mental contribution. What I love about films is that there's always something new to uncover, whether it's a detail in the dialogue, an allusion to the director's favourite film, or even an overlooked mistake. Having put the effort in to achieve a deeper understanding of the film, the feeling I get when I've been successful is extremely rewarding, particularly if it's a heavy, complicated film, and it is my desire for this experience that drives me to seek out more and more great films to view.

This is what I have so far but do I need to make it more personal? I have this line below that I wrote but cut out due to the word length but is that the right decision?

Films like Tulpan that possess the power to transport us into the life of a simple herdsman in Kazakhstan struggling to form his own ranch, or Spirited Away which invites us on a journey with Chihiro to save her parents, these
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