Writing Feedback / Overpopulation - causes and solutions [5]

After about two centuries, human population has increased like never before. According to a report of the United Nations, namely "2010 Revision of the world population prospects", the world population has reached about 7 billion people in 2011 with the average annual growth rate at around 1.1 per cent.

There are numerous contributors explaining this serious problem, both subjective and objectives ones. It is first argued that as a result of better living standards, the advancement in technology and discovery of treatments for many diseases that used to be the culprits of a large number of deaths such as malaria and measles, people can be no longer susceptible to common diseases and live longer than ever. Secondly, as the wars happen much less compared to the past, there has been a steep decline in deaths and humanity is on its way to endless prosperity. Furthermore, despite having already several daughters, a host of families endeavour to give birth to a boy who can inherit legacy and carry on the family name and lineage due to the mindset prioritizing males over females, especially in less developed countries. Finally, unwanted pregnancy which also contributes to overpopulation is on account of the lack of knowledge about sexual relations and contraception/ birth control.

What can be done in order to solve this serious worldwide problem? One obvious measure is to give the problem a higher profile in the media so that the public become more aware. Simultaneously, the equality between men and women should be raised intensively all over the world so as to wipe out the ideology of male supremacy. One possibility is to have up to two children per couple and governments can help by implementing strict penalties on having more two children. This solution has been significantly successful in many countries with the purpose of reduction in birth rate. The intensive promulgation of education progammes in schools and remote areas ought to be organised with the purpose of decreasing unwanted pregnancy. Education can be the most effective measure to deal with this problem, but it requires more concerted efforts among citizens and government themselves. Moreover, it is good idea is to support poor countries with the funding of contraceptive provision and education programmes.

As suggested above, a series of subjective and objective reasons can be the culprits of overpopulation. Government, international bodies and citizens are all responsible for solutions of this serious phenomenon with educational measure being the most efficacious way.

Please correct this essay for me, thank you so much!

Writing Feedback / Stress: Cause and solutions (IELTS essay) [NEW]

In recent years there has been increasing awareness about the causes of stress and people have been trying to cope with this problem. The objective of this essay is to outline both causes of stress and appropriate ways of dealing with it.

Stressors can be divided into two groups: external factors related to environment and internal factors intertwined with individuality. There are many aspects of life that can become external stressors. For example, students can be stressful due to the high pressure from study, peers or high expectations of either parents or teachers. In work environment conflicts with colleagues or bosses, heavy workload can also put many people under stress. Furthermore, unpleasant living environment and fast-paced lifestyle also account for stress.

Many stressors arise from personal factors. Interpreting situations differently; as a result, people are affected by them variously. Optimists are less likely to be heavily affected by adversities. For instance, a failure regarded as a shame by many people might be taken as an extremely useful lesson to try more to others. Another stark example is that people who are perfectionists usually undergo great stress when they fail to achieve their targets. Of equal importance is the ability to handle with some issues, such as time, money and love. Because of the numerous attitudes toward an issue and responses to an event, the effect of stress management skills significantly varies from person to person.

There are many simple but accessible and practicable methods to cope with stress. Firstly, a good idea for people under stress is to take part in recreational activities such as watching comic movies, playing team building games so that they can forget their stress gradually. Secondly, doing exercise and adopting a sound dieting habit in order to have a healthy life are another effective ways to deal with stress. Moreover, they should learn to block out worries, anxieties or depression, perceive things positively and keep balance between work and relaxation. Finally, having someone believable to share weal and woe is an efficacious way to overcome stress.

Writing Feedback / Deficient water resources: causes and solutions [9]

Water is vital for all living creatures on our planet and has become increasingly deficient recently. Global water problems are attracting increasing attention. There are a series of reasons causing this problem and some possible solutions will be raised in this essay.

First, it is undeniable that the rapid population growth is a considerable contributor to water shortage over the world. Water shortages are becoming more and more serious in many areas of our planet due to the increasing demand on water supplies for households, agriculture and manufacture.

Moreover, the lack of awareness about the value of water is another culprit of water crisis. In many countries where water is still available enough people tend to perceive water as either a cheap commodity or an infinite resource. For this reason, the unbridled use of water is commonplace, accelerating the exhaustion of this valuable resource. Spontaneously, governments also lack law enforcement to prevent water from being wasted, although this global problem is happening at an alarming rate. Human-induced pollution is worthy of concern as well, a factor regarded by many as the root cause of the rapid loss of drinkable water. The untreated discharge of numerous pollutants in water bodies such as heavy metals, organic toxins is believed to cause severe impact.

Finally, climate change is drastically affecting the global water availability. For example, droughts occur more frequently and seriously in many areas, whereas others are hit by foods that ravage everything including dams, canals, and reservoirs. As a result, the water supply problem will intensify.

Preventing water crisis from reaching catastrophic level needs more concern of people and governments worldwide. It can be an effective ways to raise awareness among all citizens about the shortage of water and what we will have to face in the future if the uncontrolled water usage is not stopped, so that people will use water more reasonably. Governments should implement laws or taxes in order to punish inappropriate use of water. In agriculture, new technologies such as rainfall water harvesting, drip irrigation ought to be invested and applied in areas undergoing water shortages. It would be a useful way to provide water to coastal populations to enhance study for desalination, which is the practice of converting saltwater from oceans into drinkable water. Finally, people should protect our environment and treat discharge of pollutants before release them to environment

Writing Feedback / 'highly motivated, self-disciplined and well-organised' - Distance learning [NEW]

The number of courses offered by distance has increased a great deal over the last few years. In the past, this type of learning was sometimes called correspondence learning. The advent of the Internet as a learning medium has helped to create distance learning opportunities worldwide. However, is it really possible to learn from home? Are such courses suitable for all learners? I will examine these questions below, firstly by considering the advantages and disadvantages of learning in this mode, and then by looking at the kind of learner that suits distance learning.

A key advantage of distance learning is that learners can work at their own pace and study in the comfort of home. In addition, they can choose the parts of the course that suit their learning needs. Equally important, presentation of distance learning material through the Internet or television broadcasts can often be more interesting than classroom presentations and the content of the course can be viewed or read again and again by learners. It is also believed that there are possibilities to study at universities from all over the world by distance learning.

It is undeniable that distance learning has many advantages, but there are also many disadvantages. Firstly, not all learners are comfortable using the computer technology because distance learning these days can be difficult for people who find computers difficult to use. What is more, if the technology breaks down, learning is disrupted. Beside this, distance learning demands that learners are highly motivated and organised. However, many learners find they need a lot of guidance and cannot study independently. While classroom based courses provide opportunities for learners to meet each other and socialise, distance learners can often feel isolated. It can also be difficult for distance learners to contact their tutor to ask questions. Furthermore, they may need to wait weeks for feedback on assignments.

As shown above, to study by distance learning distance learners need to be highly motivated, self-disciplined and well-organised and have a good learning environment at home. Equally important, the learners should be good at using technology, especially computers and have a good idea about what they need to study.

In conclusion, distance learning is becoming more and more popular because of its benefits but it is not suitable for all learners. It is a good idea for universities to give options to students to choose what method to learn because students can find what is the best for them.