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Posts by loewilson
Joined: Dec 22, 2011
Last Post: Dec 23, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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loewilson   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / 'expand my diverse knowledge' - George Washington Supplement Essay [2]

Attach an essay of no more than 500 words indicating what most influenced you to apply to The George Washington University- My essay is 543 Words as of now.

George Washington University, being in the heart of the most cultured city in the whole world, is known for its diversity. For many schools and people diversity is something they strive for in education. In fact, example sentences of diversity in the dictionary include "The school aims for diversity in its student population," or "The University's commitment to diversity, specifically, appealed to her." So when thinking about the reasons why GW appealed to me, obviously it was one of the first attributes that came to mind. However, while I sat contemplating on my computer chair, I was dumbfounded at how I could make this example stand out among the thousands of applicants.

Yet, diversity is not just a word in the dictionary, or something that looks good on a school's student body listing. Diversity is ethnicity, life experiences, economic status, sexual orientations, and any number of things. At first glance, I look like an average enough woman. I am of average height, not extremely talented in any one sport, fairly good grades, but no rocket scientist, white skin, brown hair. However, upon deeper inspection I am unique. I play rugby, not the most feminine sport. I have lived in numerous states and have been able to develop a passion for different cultures. I have best friends from Spain to Iran. I have a self-motivation that goes beyond grades to develop a deeper understanding than what is normally presented in the classroom. Most importantly is my family. In your head you might picture a family like the Brady Bunch but in fact, I am a member of an interracial family.

My family has shaped the person I am today. They have taught me lessons that I might not have ever learned. I was born in the South where interracial families are looked at quizzically. Sometimes at school, peers and even teachers scrutinized my sister and me. At first we were confounded, at our house skin color was just something one was born with, like green eyes, it was not something one was judged by. As we grew up, we learned that our situation was not "normal" by some standards, and because our anomalies I learned many lessons about life.

Loving someone has nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with trust, respect, and kindness. I was shown first hand what it felt like to be judged by what I look like or what my family looks like. I will never take any one at face value, but instead, look at the person that is underneath the skin. I learned if given the opportunity, people would rather raise to meet the standards placed in front of them, than lower themselves down to meet them. I learned that with diversity, comes different perspectives, different beliefs and values, and a variety of "life experiences". I have grown to appreciate and enjoy these different perspectives as I expanded my knowledge of geography, culture, analytical methods, and what's "swag" around the world.

I want to continue to expand my diverse knowledge. I feel GW provides the best opportunity to leverage diversity with the best academic curriculum and professors the world can provide. I hope to use my experiences to significantly contribute to the diverse culture at GW.
loewilson   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / The "Good Will Hunting" Common App Essay- Is it a little risky? [6]

Good ideas here, but lost of grammatical errors.

The night before the start of my exam week freshman year, I stared out into the dark quiet night and pondered why the universe was punishing mewith all these exams being hurled at me. This sounds a bit redundant.

** from the corner of my eye.
**my roommate Joe and I both idly laid down on our semi-broken couches eagerly for the story of the handsome MIT janitor to unfold.

**"Good Will Hunting" before every exam week, similar to how warriors sharpen their swords before a battle.
**us with questions that have dragged around my mind since middle school- Where am I going?, what is my purpose?, and who do I live for? --> Only use ' ' when the quote is inside a quote

**Though the talent one may possess might not be quite the same magnitude of Will's; each and every individual is blessed with dreams, but are often afraid to run towards what he or she wants.--> I would reword this. It reads funny.

**Will Hunting's transformation to a purpose-driven man never seems to grow old for me, Joe, and all my friends as this tradition has come to be ingrained in our lives at Episcopal.

**Born in the states but quickly moving back to Korea as an infant, I have never had any experiences in authentic American culture before when my family decided to temporarily move to the U.S. as my dad took an exchange professorial job at Northwestern University. --> this is a run on sentence

**groups of friends of their own race

**I have watched this movie seven times so far, and it inspires me to keep aspiring for what I want- not just the desires that others what me to fulfill, nor the prejudice in America expects me to be. ( I would take out prejudice, it leaves a bad taste in the readers mouth at the very end of the essay.)
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