Grammar, Usage / SENTENCES GRAMMATICALLY AND CONTEXTUALLY CORRECT? [4]

I don't know if abbreviations("MS" and"IT") are really acceptable. You should probably use full words.
I do not understand the sentence 2. what is "xx", "credenz"...
3rd sentence I think that should be "He's matches..." also "I will want..." not would
Elaborate on how your going to be an active and contributing member of the community

Undergraduate / UPenn Supp-I'M JUST A STORY-TELLER(WHY ESSAY) [5]

I think your essay is really good as far as style goes. Definitely something new. I agree there are errors e.g "I start to imagine myself to be one of the.."

- the connection between your undergrad school and your learning and contribution is not really there how think about how what you want to learn and contributes relates to your school.

however your clear about what kinds of things you hope to learn and what you can contribute. Specific examples are a definite plus they show a clear vision. very imaginative writing

P.s Do u think admission officers would be like a person who wants to do research to alleviate suffering more than a person who wants to help blind kids by spending time with them.

Essays / My sat score got cancelled [11]

the essay shows how i recovered and studied hard to get good grades in school and on AP tests and how i studied to get higher sat scores. (Hard work - Resilience)

---should I still write

Undergraduate / 'center of education where learning is limitless' Stanford - Intellectual development [5]

put gs in brackets after government school so they know what gs is and GS is not distracting. Good essay

Essays / My sat score got cancelled [11]

here's the essay I wrote

Prompt:Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage

the situation?

Last year, my SAT scores were cancelled. It was to be my final year of school, I was taking the SAT in November and was planning to take the SAT II in January; the scores were to be used for my college applications. But having missed the December deadline for another registration, there was no way I could take both tests and continue applying to colleges as both tests were needed for an application.

I had to spend one more year in high school.

An upbraiding from outraged parents and advice from sympathetic teachers, assisted me in internalizing the lesson I had learnt. Realizing that it would be unwise to wallow in sadness or self pity, I had to think about where to go from that point. However, I was a bit lost.

Eventually with some help from my father, I came to see that the misfortune was an opportunity in disguise. My best option was to stay another year in the school. This seemed terrifying at first, but when I thought about this solution's benefits, staying in the same school was not in any way negative.

For the remainder of the year I worked hard in class, succeeded in improving my grades and scored highly on the AP Exams. By taking every possible opportunity, I improved my extracurricular activity and began anticipating leadership positions for the following year. Finally, I was determined to do extremely well on the next SAT test, which I spent the summer preparing for.