kingkong99
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / Common App Personal Statement- "After the Fountain" [2]
Hi guys, I should have found about this website earlier since there are really great critiques and voluntary editors. Would someone please do me a favor and comment on my essay as well as some grammar errors I might have overlooked? Thanks.
OPTION 1: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
"After the Fountain"
This year's "Shoot the Luna" art competition was different. Instead of the usual gadgets they gave out as prizes, it was a $3000 scholarship reward. As college came about, I was ever more enthusiastic to participate and win the competition to help pay for my college tuition.
After a month of work, I completed a life-size, clay bust of myself and brought it to the art department for submission. At first I came to school without expecting much from my peers. However, when I entered the art room, I was immediately overwhelmed by the type of artworks my friends have submitted. Despite no specific criteria for the type of art, almost all of my friends submitted watercolor, oil, or pastel paintings. I started to worry that my bust wouldn't receive as much attention as the others. Also, I had to admit many of the paintings seemed far superior in quality than mine. Adding to the anxiety, I started to notice previously overlooked irregularities with my sculpture. The nose appeared a bit oversized and the lips looked disfigured when seen from the left. Even the eyes seemed slightly distorted every time I stared at it. Soon, it became clear to me that winning the competition would be difficult, never mind advancing to the semi-finals.
I had to forfeit the competition.
Few weeks later, our family visited London for our long-awaited summer vacation. While touring along the Thames River, we came across the Tate Modern gallery. My parents, who were both art enthusiasts, did not hesitate to enter the museum. Inside, one of the main exhibits that especially caught my attention was a small marble sculpture called "Duchamp's Fountain". Despite its name, the model had a unique resemblance to that of a common toilet/urinal. Nevertheless, I was amazed by the value and the fame of such simple artwork. I soon learned that "Duchamp's Fountain" is a world renowned, ready-made art piece that is worth over 3 million dollars and is reproduced in more than 50 different locations.
My brief time at Tate Modern compelled me to reflect on my experience with "Shoot the Luna". In regards to "Duchamp's Fountain", the fact that something so simple and pedestrian was given so much value and attention forced me to question whether there were any standards in art. Until that time, I thought that art was valued and judged by its quality and skill. Maybe it's the intention of the artist and the meaning of the artwork that really matter. For example, Duchamp might have created his fountain with the intention of giving commonplace items, such as the urinal, artistic significance. Consequently, I started to regret my decision in quitting the competition too early; I felt that I might have been too carried off by the fact that my sculpture was the only unique submission and that it did not seem as "good" as the other artworks. Ultimately, Duchamp's "Fountain" taught me that I could at least be more confident in the work I do.
500words
Hi guys, I should have found about this website earlier since there are really great critiques and voluntary editors. Would someone please do me a favor and comment on my essay as well as some grammar errors I might have overlooked? Thanks.
OPTION 1: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
"After the Fountain"
This year's "Shoot the Luna" art competition was different. Instead of the usual gadgets they gave out as prizes, it was a $3000 scholarship reward. As college came about, I was ever more enthusiastic to participate and win the competition to help pay for my college tuition.
After a month of work, I completed a life-size, clay bust of myself and brought it to the art department for submission. At first I came to school without expecting much from my peers. However, when I entered the art room, I was immediately overwhelmed by the type of artworks my friends have submitted. Despite no specific criteria for the type of art, almost all of my friends submitted watercolor, oil, or pastel paintings. I started to worry that my bust wouldn't receive as much attention as the others. Also, I had to admit many of the paintings seemed far superior in quality than mine. Adding to the anxiety, I started to notice previously overlooked irregularities with my sculpture. The nose appeared a bit oversized and the lips looked disfigured when seen from the left. Even the eyes seemed slightly distorted every time I stared at it. Soon, it became clear to me that winning the competition would be difficult, never mind advancing to the semi-finals.
I had to forfeit the competition.
Few weeks later, our family visited London for our long-awaited summer vacation. While touring along the Thames River, we came across the Tate Modern gallery. My parents, who were both art enthusiasts, did not hesitate to enter the museum. Inside, one of the main exhibits that especially caught my attention was a small marble sculpture called "Duchamp's Fountain". Despite its name, the model had a unique resemblance to that of a common toilet/urinal. Nevertheless, I was amazed by the value and the fame of such simple artwork. I soon learned that "Duchamp's Fountain" is a world renowned, ready-made art piece that is worth over 3 million dollars and is reproduced in more than 50 different locations.
My brief time at Tate Modern compelled me to reflect on my experience with "Shoot the Luna". In regards to "Duchamp's Fountain", the fact that something so simple and pedestrian was given so much value and attention forced me to question whether there were any standards in art. Until that time, I thought that art was valued and judged by its quality and skill. Maybe it's the intention of the artist and the meaning of the artwork that really matter. For example, Duchamp might have created his fountain with the intention of giving commonplace items, such as the urinal, artistic significance. Consequently, I started to regret my decision in quitting the competition too early; I felt that I might have been too carried off by the fact that my sculpture was the only unique submission and that it did not seem as "good" as the other artworks. Ultimately, Duchamp's "Fountain" taught me that I could at least be more confident in the work I do.
500words
