Undergraduate / College community experience & diversity - Common App Prompt 5 question [2]

Hello,

So I am working on my college essay and doing prompt number 5. The prompt says : A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

I chose to answer the first part of this question: describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community

So far, unedited, I am at 600 words of just story telling. I am talking about how my journey began learning the Tabla (Indian Drums). Next I hope to cover the lessons I have learned from 8 years of playing the instrument and then end with what I will contribute to the richness of the college community (diversity).

Does this sound like a good plan? Should I cut down the story to around 300 words then talk about the lessons I have learned for 100 words then end with 100 words on the things that I will contribute to the college?

Once complete I will post the essay.

Also is it fine to have the essay be 600-650 words?

Thanks

Undergraduate / Bhangra, Indian folk dance Common - App. Short answer question -edit/trim [6]

Hello,

I would appreciate if a Mod could please edit/trim this short answer for the common app::: In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer). :

Bhangra, a high energy Indian folk dance, is a growing phenomenon in North America. Two summers ago, my Bhangra troop was invited to participate in a dance competition. My team entrusted me with the responsibility of choreographing our number. I took on the challenge of planning the dance steps and arranging them into an expressive and meaningful performance. It turned out that handling a group of eight individuals was not as easy as it sounded. Countless hours passed in arguments and no two people seemed to agree on anything. I had to remind the team to focus on the big picture of winning the competition. After two months of hard work and heartaches, the dance became a joy and we were awarded first place at the competition. But it turned out we were not dancing for the prize anymore; rather, we were dancing for the joy of Bhangra. Choreographing Bhangra dances tested my limits of creativity, rhythm, leadership, and motivation. I learned how to cope with pressure, how to remain focused, and most of all, the importance of group cooperation.

thanks alooooottt