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Posts by zanzy
Joined: Jan 5, 2012
Last Post: Jan 10, 2012
Threads: 3
Posts: 3  
From: Ghana

Displayed posts: 6
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zanzy   
Jan 5, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Soccer - a huge part of my life' - common app essay [3]

Please help correct errors and tell me if it good.
Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experience

As I compete with my opponents for the ball, as I run out of breath on many countless occasions and as I stand the risk of getting a broken nose or even a broken bone; It is the love of the game that keeps me going. I developed the love for soccer at the tender age of seven from my older brother who is now a professional soccer player. The feeling of confidence when I hold on to the ball and complete a pass and the inner feeling of joy I get when I score a goal is one of the most satisfying feelings in my life. Soccer has since become a huge part of me; I could never imagine my life without it. To improve my skills and also develop me mentally and physically since I hope to engage in it professionally one day I took the bold step and joined my junior high school team and never looked back since then. I have gained a wealth of experience in teamwork, coordination and discipline on the pitch and improved my relationship skills and respect for others off the pitch. Soccer has thought me never to give up. Even if I do not succeed when I try an activity once, I work harder at it and give it a try again and again till I do.
zanzy   
Jan 8, 2012
Scholarship / 'the ending of the month Ramadan' - a leadership experience, how and why? Gates. [3]

Intention of the leader should be sincere, serve the community righteously despite of all hardship .

I volunteered for the past 5years in the mosque regardless of anything
I think you should explain what u mean by anything

I disliked this image they portrayed me as, so I had to prove them wrong, that I was capable of organizing biggest events and be a leader.

try: I disliked this image they portrayed me as, so I had to prove to them that I was capable of organizing even the biggest events and be a leader.

learn lessons from elderolder leaders and how to become a well experienced leader among my group.

One Sunday, one of the leaders put me to a side and asked me to become a leaderamong mythat group.
zanzy   
Jan 8, 2012
Letters / Street hawking / Transcript - how to start a letter to editor? [4]

Since you have sent me some appropriate comments about my transcript,
try:You sent me some comments about my transcript,

I want to know isif it's possible to revise that after a proper study,and getting some professors' viewpoints and also resend it for your journal?
zanzy   
Jan 8, 2012
Undergraduate / 'a result of the Harmattan' - personal essay [2]

Please help me to edit this essay. Thank you

As I look through the window I see dusty winds and the shedding of leaves by trees, resulting in dusty surroundings. My body gets dry seconds after I have taken my bath, compelling me to apply soothing oil on my body. Travelling on foot is even more difficult since one gets very thirsty just after a few miles' walk.

All this is as a result of the Harmattan, which is a dry West African trade wind, blowing south from the Sahara Desert into the region between November and March. The temperatures can be as low as 3 degrees Celsius with the weather at night very chilly. Breathing becomes very difficult. This situation has worsened over the years with the dry season increasing to about seven months every year, making the majority of the people unemployed and leaving them with no source of livelihood as farming is their main source of survival.

The situation is of grave concern to me and my compatriots because farming is virtually impossible as there is no rain at all. In a poor farming town like ours, famine easily sets in. Also during this time, malaria attacks are very rampant, especially among children and the aged. Moreover, during this season the country loses a lot of foreign exchange that would usually have been earned from tourism. The harsh weather scares them away and they go elsewhere to spend their money.

Several efforts have been made by environmentalists and the government to address the situation to no avail. One effort, which is considered the best solution, is afforestation through community tree-planting. However, many still resist it partly due to old cultural practices and beliefs. A lot more sensitization needs to be carried out if we are to succeed.
zanzy   
Jan 10, 2012
Undergraduate / 'decided to major in computer science' - Commonapp transfer essay [NEW]

please help edit this essay.thanks

Thomas Jefferson once said "Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude". This quote has since motivated me especially when it came to choosing a college. This is because I know a good college choice will help me develop the right mental attitude for my future career. After so many offers from many colleges in and outside my home country, I decided to settle for Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology; one of the best universities in my home country Ghana. It looked like the best option at that time because I was still a teenager, unstable and didn't want to sacrifice the security I felt in my home country but most importantly the comfort of being close to my family and friends, because I knew these factors would motivate me study with a peaceful mind. I decided to major in computer science there. It was when I did an attachment after my 3rd semester that I realized I was lacking behind and technology was growing dynamically and I needed the foreign exposure to move with this dynamic world and this led me to fill out this application.

I know it is never too late to correct wrong.it was in this light that I wanted to continue at a college abroad, particularly in the USA because it was one of the countries with state of the art technology, since technology is a relevant factor for success in my chosen major. I would gain a wealth of experience that would allow me to tackle the intellectual and personal challenges of adapting and succeeding in this global world. The lack of opportunity, diversity and study abroad opportunities in my current college will also be solved by the study abroad opportunities in the states. Also the educational mythologies in USA especially the hands- on- learning in most colleges will make studying so much fun, practical and would be a plus for me in the real world. I am dedicated to pursuing my education while gaining a wealth of experiences to shape how I interact with the world around me. I am more than willing now to sacrifice the security of being close to home, the comfort of being around friends and family, I believe I can cope since am older, stable and more experienced than I was 3 semesters back and most importantly I believe I would be more relevant to my friends, family and society as a whole after my study abroad.
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