Tsunamela
Nov 30, 2008
Undergraduate / Fixating on Curiosity (UC Prompt #1) [5]
3rd paragraph:
I think you should change "curiousness" to curiosity
:) good luck!
3rd paragraph:
I think you should change "curiousness" to curiosity
:) good luck!
Tsunamela
Nov 30, 2008
Undergraduate / My parents are my motivation to be a hard-working, determined, and versatile student [4]
I revised Prompt 1 a little. Try talking more about how the experience made YOU feel. Great job, though. and Good Luck! :D
(...) READ ABOVE (the first paragraph of the first essay)
My parents faced adversity growing up in China, their native-born country. My mother was raised along with her three sisters and two brothers. She struggled getting an adequate education due to tuition fees her family struggled to pay for. Her family managed to muster the money for her to get an education for seven years before she dropped out. She began working to make sure that there were better opportunities for her siblings. My father was more fortunate than my mother; his family was not as large as my mom's and his family had enough savings for tuition fees. He finished high school at the top of his class, but he could not manage to land a good job because he did not have the proper relations with those who had power. My parents want me to receive the education they never had and just like my parents with her siblings, I want my little sister to surpass me. I will make sure of this by helping my sister with her schoolwork making sure she takes harder classes to challenge herself. When the time comes, I will overlook and help her with college applications.
As I grew up, I watched my frustrated mother get rejected from job after job because she did not graduate from high school. My father recently had to accept a reduced wage due to financial problems at his restaurant. Despite all this, my parents try to involve themselves in all aspects of my life even though they have to work long hours. They always tell me to prioritize what is important. They always tell me to do my schoolwork and chores first before anything else. I wish I could say that I followed them obediently every time, but sometimes I would rebel and laze around. But as high school started, I began to prioritize what is important more and more until it became a natural process. Their words of advice will stay with me through my whole life. My parents are my motivation to be a hard-working, determined, and versatile student who is ready for college.
I revised Prompt 1 a little. Try talking more about how the experience made YOU feel. Great job, though. and Good Luck! :D
(...) READ ABOVE (the first paragraph of the first essay)
My parents faced adversity growing up in China, their native-born country. My mother was raised along with her three sisters and two brothers. She struggled getting an adequate education due to tuition fees her family struggled to pay for. Her family managed to muster the money for her to get an education for seven years before she dropped out. She began working to make sure that there were better opportunities for her siblings. My father was more fortunate than my mother; his family was not as large as my mom's and his family had enough savings for tuition fees. He finished high school at the top of his class, but he could not manage to land a good job because he did not have the proper relations with those who had power. My parents want me to receive the education they never had and just like my parents with her siblings, I want my little sister to surpass me. I will make sure of this by helping my sister with her schoolwork making sure she takes harder classes to challenge herself. When the time comes, I will overlook and help her with college applications.
As I grew up, I watched my frustrated mother get rejected from job after job because she did not graduate from high school. My father recently had to accept a reduced wage due to financial problems at his restaurant. Despite all this, my parents try to involve themselves in all aspects of my life even though they have to work long hours. They always tell me to prioritize what is important. They always tell me to do my schoolwork and chores first before anything else. I wish I could say that I followed them obediently every time, but sometimes I would rebel and laze around. But as high school started, I began to prioritize what is important more and more until it became a natural process. Their words of advice will stay with me through my whole life. My parents are my motivation to be a hard-working, determined, and versatile student who is ready for college.
Tsunamela
Nov 30, 2008
Undergraduate / "Is that shadow mine?" UC #2... [3]
Idk if its good or not, plz take a look at it. Thanks :)
I run. It is a simple action which has changed my life forever. Running was never in my blood nor was the classification of a runner something I suddenly wanted to fit into. I simply ran. As I walked towards the starting line, I glanced at the shadow before me. I wondered what it stood for and who it truly reflected.
From a sick child running from her mother with cough syrup in hands to a girl competing in cross-country races, I've become quite familiar with running. Growing up with older siblings was a challenge; I'd constantly emulate them, but as they pursued different interests, I felt stuck in their shadow. Suddenly, that shadow which has followed me everywhere throughout my life reflected somebody else. Yet I discovered something that had separated me from everybody else- running. So I ran. I ran at track meets, against boys at my school, and even against the neighborhood dogs. The more I ran, the more it developed into a talent and ultimately a passion. It was then that I grew a genuine love for the sport.
"You can't beat those girls, they're faster than you", my mother told me before a race. Tears rolled down my face as I heard that remark come out of the one person who was supposed to believe in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Instances like these had led me to question my own ability. For so long I tried finding a reason behind many of my defeats. But at the end of the day I remember the importance of the things I do possess, and use it to the best of my ability. Running has introduced me to the reality that sometimes you need to work twice as hard to be as good as somebody else, and work three times as hard to beat them, in any aspect of life. Now, I am always willing to seize that opportunity. There are people in this world who do not have as much as we do; many are paralyzed and live a life without the ability to take even a single step. I remember those people who are less-fortunate than I am and it has only fueled my passion to continue my pursuit.
As I run the streets, trails, and hills, I have come to realize the beauty this world has to offer. It has given me a chance to reflect on life and love living in the world we often take for granted. This has taught me to appreciate people and the life we are given. Rather than sinking into the shadows of others, I have gained the confidence to undertake new opportunities in life and give the best I can offer to the world through my talent. I have become a leader and have gained the understanding to lead my team as their captain. Running has taught me self-discipline and humility because I understand being in challenging situations. Now I encourage others to love everything they do no matter the outcome. And most importantly I've learned that the desire and effort for something beats talent any day.
As I waited at the starting line and heard the sound of the gun, I saw that same shadow beneath me spring forward. The shadow reflected experiences of the past, moments of the present, and hopes for the future. I was happy to know that this shadow was my own.
Idk if its good or not, plz take a look at it. Thanks :)
I run. It is a simple action which has changed my life forever. Running was never in my blood nor was the classification of a runner something I suddenly wanted to fit into. I simply ran. As I walked towards the starting line, I glanced at the shadow before me. I wondered what it stood for and who it truly reflected.
From a sick child running from her mother with cough syrup in hands to a girl competing in cross-country races, I've become quite familiar with running. Growing up with older siblings was a challenge; I'd constantly emulate them, but as they pursued different interests, I felt stuck in their shadow. Suddenly, that shadow which has followed me everywhere throughout my life reflected somebody else. Yet I discovered something that had separated me from everybody else- running. So I ran. I ran at track meets, against boys at my school, and even against the neighborhood dogs. The more I ran, the more it developed into a talent and ultimately a passion. It was then that I grew a genuine love for the sport.
"You can't beat those girls, they're faster than you", my mother told me before a race. Tears rolled down my face as I heard that remark come out of the one person who was supposed to believe in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Instances like these had led me to question my own ability. For so long I tried finding a reason behind many of my defeats. But at the end of the day I remember the importance of the things I do possess, and use it to the best of my ability. Running has introduced me to the reality that sometimes you need to work twice as hard to be as good as somebody else, and work three times as hard to beat them, in any aspect of life. Now, I am always willing to seize that opportunity. There are people in this world who do not have as much as we do; many are paralyzed and live a life without the ability to take even a single step. I remember those people who are less-fortunate than I am and it has only fueled my passion to continue my pursuit.
As I run the streets, trails, and hills, I have come to realize the beauty this world has to offer. It has given me a chance to reflect on life and love living in the world we often take for granted. This has taught me to appreciate people and the life we are given. Rather than sinking into the shadows of others, I have gained the confidence to undertake new opportunities in life and give the best I can offer to the world through my talent. I have become a leader and have gained the understanding to lead my team as their captain. Running has taught me self-discipline and humility because I understand being in challenging situations. Now I encourage others to love everything they do no matter the outcome. And most importantly I've learned that the desire and effort for something beats talent any day.
As I waited at the starting line and heard the sound of the gun, I saw that same shadow beneath me spring forward. The shadow reflected experiences of the past, moments of the present, and hopes for the future. I was happy to know that this shadow was my own.
Tsunamela
Nov 30, 2008
Undergraduate / UC #1: Caring for my grandparents [2]
please help, i dont know if i really answered the prompt! thank you.
The biblical character, Samson, was a powerful figure; he possessed tremendous strength but it all came from his hair. This is a favorite story my grandmother read to me when I was a child. During those years, I spent my school recess playing in the sandbox by myself while others chased each other around the playground. But it did not bother me, because I had my grandmother. She taught me early morals. She reminded me to say thank you to the bus driver and to smile at every stranger. I never saw her as a stranger, until she came back from the Philippines.
It was in high school that I was introduced to reality. I was active in academics, clubs, and sports and I was determined to face anything life threw at me. But when my grand-parents came to live with us for an easier life, my life became harder. Upon greeting them at our doorstep, I saw a fragile 70-something pound lady; she was my grandmother. They struggled with the limits of old age; my grandfather with Alzheimer disease and my grandmother who constantly refused to eat. 'Who were they?' I wondered. Soon, my room had become their room. My seat at the dining-room table became their seat. The time my parents spent on me became their time. I remember feeling so frustrated, lying on the cot in my parent's room wishing my grandparents would leave. I wanted my bed back, I wanted my life back, and I wanted my grandparents back. Because caring for them at home proved difficult for my family, we sent them to a convalescent home nearby.
As teenagers spent their Friday nights at the movies, I spent mine caring for my grand-parents, feeding them and tending to their everyday needs. After sports practice, I would enter the convalescent only to be seen as an absolute stranger; my grand-parents could not remember me. Juggling many responsibilities was challenging, yet I continued to be the supportive grand-daughter they raised me to be. As a result, I gained a deep understanding for those in need along with the patience to serve them. This experience taught me humility, maturity, and discipline. I have also gained the skills to handle multiple tasks at once and look for vast opportunities to carry on my service in helping others. In a way, I was like Samson; I possessed strength and perseverance all due to my experience and an inner drive- yet it could never be cut. Although my grand-parents have passed away, the values they taught me have lived on. I try to smile at every person I see and as I get off the bus, I say thank you to the bus driver, while thanking my grand-parents as well.
please help, i dont know if i really answered the prompt! thank you.
The biblical character, Samson, was a powerful figure; he possessed tremendous strength but it all came from his hair. This is a favorite story my grandmother read to me when I was a child. During those years, I spent my school recess playing in the sandbox by myself while others chased each other around the playground. But it did not bother me, because I had my grandmother. She taught me early morals. She reminded me to say thank you to the bus driver and to smile at every stranger. I never saw her as a stranger, until she came back from the Philippines.
It was in high school that I was introduced to reality. I was active in academics, clubs, and sports and I was determined to face anything life threw at me. But when my grand-parents came to live with us for an easier life, my life became harder. Upon greeting them at our doorstep, I saw a fragile 70-something pound lady; she was my grandmother. They struggled with the limits of old age; my grandfather with Alzheimer disease and my grandmother who constantly refused to eat. 'Who were they?' I wondered. Soon, my room had become their room. My seat at the dining-room table became their seat. The time my parents spent on me became their time. I remember feeling so frustrated, lying on the cot in my parent's room wishing my grandparents would leave. I wanted my bed back, I wanted my life back, and I wanted my grandparents back. Because caring for them at home proved difficult for my family, we sent them to a convalescent home nearby.
As teenagers spent their Friday nights at the movies, I spent mine caring for my grand-parents, feeding them and tending to their everyday needs. After sports practice, I would enter the convalescent only to be seen as an absolute stranger; my grand-parents could not remember me. Juggling many responsibilities was challenging, yet I continued to be the supportive grand-daughter they raised me to be. As a result, I gained a deep understanding for those in need along with the patience to serve them. This experience taught me humility, maturity, and discipline. I have also gained the skills to handle multiple tasks at once and look for vast opportunities to carry on my service in helping others. In a way, I was like Samson; I possessed strength and perseverance all due to my experience and an inner drive- yet it could never be cut. Although my grand-parents have passed away, the values they taught me have lived on. I try to smile at every person I see and as I get off the bus, I say thank you to the bus driver, while thanking my grand-parents as well.