Posts by edemsco
Joined: Dec 3, 2008 |
Last Post: Dec 9, 2008
Threads: 1
Posts: 5
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Displayed posts: 6
Undergraduate /
Creative work of art-Commonapp Personal essay [9]
Your essay is okay but I don't quite get the part where you say you were left with a high affinity for paintings as a compromise. If paintings became a compromise, what did you want at first (and didn't get) before you took paintings as a compromise?
**Don't use words you don't understand**
Undergraduate /
The irrevocable statement of John Hersey "success starts with a failure" is locomotion of achievers. [12]
Hey Nanayaw, I have some suggestions for you
1. It's the tower of Babel not Barbell
2. This is what really worries me. You said you received advice from peers and teachers to quit. To quit what? School! If it's really true go ahead but if it's not please change it. I can see right through that statement that its a lie. I don't really think a teacher would ask you to quit school. At least say "one of your friends jokingly said" or something like that. If I can see right through, any admissions officer will also be able to see right through it.
Undergraduate /
"the school choir" - Elaborate on One of Your ExtraCurricular Activities [6]
Please criticize my essay constructively for me. I would be very grateful if someone could criticize it ASAP. Thanks.
He lifted up his hands with a dexterity only a few people could have had and then motioning to the group on his left and those on his right, he looked directly at those in front of him and then gave us all the signal to start singing. The performance of the school choir that evening was as splendid as all our previous performances had been. However, we couldn't have achieved this feat without the constant effort we put into our practice sessions. We meet every morning from Monday to Friday and then practice for about an hour before we go to our classes for lessons. I used to sing in the bass part. Our choir master is really a perfectionist and he always ensures that we have all learnt our parts perfectly before we perform at any function. I really enjoyed being part of the school choir.
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