sidmarur
Mar 20, 2012
Undergraduate / SMU Application Essay on achievements and contributions [7]
Prompt:Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well. (Max : 300 words)
I've written almost 400 words,please help me out with the editing ASAP ,need to submit it in a day or two.Also please let me know if I can make any improvements as far as language,grammar or anything else goes :)
Thank You !
Essay : There have been instances, seemingly small and insignificant where I have felt like I have made the smallest of impacts on someone's life and undergone a change in myself.
My week-long trip to Tehri,Uttaranchal was a life-defining time for me. No electricity, morning ablutions on a brown patch of land on top a hilly mountain with the sun shining on my face, farming with the villagers, building a house for people I've never met, and all those late night talks with the them made me how small a dot I am in the canvas of life, questioning the whole purpose of our existence. And yet, I could make the biggest of differences in another dot's journey. On returning I cofounded an organisation called ASAP, where through fund raising events we collected enough cash to sponsor a rural child's education up till tenth grade.
Hydrophobia plagued me for the first 8 years of my existence, but not in the conventional sense. No matter how clear the swimming pool would be, I'd always fear an alligator or a snake was lurking in the depths looking forward to me. So in the summer of fifth grade, I attended a basic water sports course with a nervous heart and a tense mind. Those two weeks made me realise that just beyond your fears, hangs the fruit of ecstasy. All you have to do is reach for it and not look down.
The reception I received when I joined my new school, in twelfth grade, was hostile to say the least .Dressing in casuals didn't help. Vivek was the only guy who spoke to me on that first day, and so became my only friend for the rest of the year. Teachers advised me against his company owing to his poor academic record. During our finals I was comfortable with my preparations. Vivek on the other hand almost became a runaway .He spent the next one month at my house, and I taught him all I thought I knew, and he proved of invaluable help in Chemistry as well as company. The results were announced; when I called him all I could hear was loud screaming .He was a special friend for he taught me more about myself than I would've learnt in a lifetime.
These three experiences instilled in me the values of compassion, determination and teamwork.
Prompt:Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well. (Max : 300 words)
I've written almost 400 words,please help me out with the editing ASAP ,need to submit it in a day or two.Also please let me know if I can make any improvements as far as language,grammar or anything else goes :)
Thank You !
Essay : There have been instances, seemingly small and insignificant where I have felt like I have made the smallest of impacts on someone's life and undergone a change in myself.
My week-long trip to Tehri,Uttaranchal was a life-defining time for me. No electricity, morning ablutions on a brown patch of land on top a hilly mountain with the sun shining on my face, farming with the villagers, building a house for people I've never met, and all those late night talks with the them made me how small a dot I am in the canvas of life, questioning the whole purpose of our existence. And yet, I could make the biggest of differences in another dot's journey. On returning I cofounded an organisation called ASAP, where through fund raising events we collected enough cash to sponsor a rural child's education up till tenth grade.
Hydrophobia plagued me for the first 8 years of my existence, but not in the conventional sense. No matter how clear the swimming pool would be, I'd always fear an alligator or a snake was lurking in the depths looking forward to me. So in the summer of fifth grade, I attended a basic water sports course with a nervous heart and a tense mind. Those two weeks made me realise that just beyond your fears, hangs the fruit of ecstasy. All you have to do is reach for it and not look down.
The reception I received when I joined my new school, in twelfth grade, was hostile to say the least .Dressing in casuals didn't help. Vivek was the only guy who spoke to me on that first day, and so became my only friend for the rest of the year. Teachers advised me against his company owing to his poor academic record. During our finals I was comfortable with my preparations. Vivek on the other hand almost became a runaway .He spent the next one month at my house, and I taught him all I thought I knew, and he proved of invaluable help in Chemistry as well as company. The results were announced; when I called him all I could hear was loud screaming .He was a special friend for he taught me more about myself than I would've learnt in a lifetime.
These three experiences instilled in me the values of compassion, determination and teamwork.