Graduate / 'changed from being less ambitious to becoming more ambitious' (reasons for applying) [4]

i think that your idea is ok, you have a few mistakes, but it isn't important. Good luck for you :)

Writing Feedback / Are you too dependent on computers? [Argumentative essay outline + work] [5]

I have a essay that talk about " we too dependent on computers. I hope people will comment for your essay.

Computers are convenient devices that many of us use daily. They are used almost everywhere and have become an integral part of our lives. It allows us to work from house, stay in contact with friends and family , know many important information on the world and entertainment...This is the reason why people are becoming dependent on computers in a way or another . In my opinion, I think that If we use too computers, it will lead to many serious healthy effects.

First of all, computers affect to the health of human. If you're at the computers all day, you may damage your eyesight and may also develop backache. According to Thanh Nien newspapers, about 1000 persons older than 18 revealed that 82% used frequently the computers , 42% spent over three hours daily in front of a computers screen. As you know, sitting on front of a computers for long is dangerous for your eyes. It make your eyes dry, tired eyes, dizziness, especially is myopia that has caused eye problems to adults and even teenagers. Not just that, it can also effect some body parts such as brain, neck, fingers... Therefore, using a computers is very important to keep a good healthy in our life and not to use anything too much. Computers should be used only for a few hours in a day, it will make you fell comfortable better than when you sit front of a computers all day.

Second, computers make people so lazy and not think anything. This is definitely a bad thing, especially for the younger generations. Because they rely on computers for everything , from paying bills, to applying for jobs, for online shopping, even though do homework... For example, if we want to find information, we can just type in the words and get information in just seconds. Not only that, computers also serve as a online shop because for those who can't find time to go to the shops to buy things, so they can always order things online. It saves time for them. Not just that, the people sitting in front of a computers all day, they lack experience in daily life, in outside world. And effect your relations with your family, if you spend too much time at computers and no attention to them. You can take part in many outdoor activities instead of sitting working or playing games on your computers.

In contrast, many others thinks that computers has many functions such as: listen to music, read newspaper, communicate to each other, find information for learn,...for example if your family is too far away from you, you can talk to them and send a message. You can also relax on computer by playing games, show video or do what you want...Beside computers can also help you save important documents, it will help you find information faster... However, If you too dependent it, it will bring many disadvantages that you not imagine. As a result, you can become a passive person and lazy thinking. A lot of people become addiction computer especially the children, they can front of computers all day that not relax, not eat and drink. So, we shouldn't spend too time to use computers, instead of we should take part in many activities outdoor.

In conclusion, I agree with you that computers bring many advantages for us, but it also affects to the life of us. That is the reason why we not too dependent on computers, this is a bad habit . So we should use computers to suitable for working, learning...