Writing Feedback / Narrative/Description Essay About An Unforgettable Vacation [4]

Furthermore, on this vacation, I was aware of how fear I was when I reached nearly to the dead. It was such an extremely important experience for me to protect myself. Perhaps, I will learn how to swim; not only do I keep myself in safety, but also can I help others.

>>>>>>> however, you can write:
Furthermore, on this vacation, I was aware of how fearful I was about mortality. It was a lesson that taught me to protect myself. Perhaps, I will learn how to swim to help myself and others. >>> it will be condensed