Writing Feedback / Ielts: Funding education for students who cannot afford it? [3]

Topic: "In many countries today, increasing numbers of young people studt at univesity.
Students, who will probably earn higher than average salaries after graduating should pay for their own
higher education, rather than state.
What are your views?"

The concept that students should pay for their education is gaining popularity as more young people opt to go to universities. Although I have some sympathy with this idea, I believe that state funding is good investment for the future, not only for the students themselves, but for the students who can afford it should make some contribution to their university fees.

Firstly, there are young people who cannot afford higher education but are very ambitious and talented. Instead of entering universities they begin working and the talents are wasted. Funding them is a good Idea as it brings equality to people and have a opportunity to study in universities irrespectively of their financial state.

Secondly, student who have the financial state that grant them to pay for the fees, it should be obligatory for them to contribute for it as provides an opportunity for those who cannot afford it and be funded by state. This idea would provide more people with a higher deegre who have the professional skills that would not only be beneficial for them but for the counties development as well and boost the different field of jobs that are in failure.

In conclusion, it is obvious that not all young people who plan to enter universities cannot afford their education, funding them is beneficial to individuals and brings a social quality. Under this conditions the country the country would flourish and even number of crimes will decrease as more people will be engaged by their jobs and studies.

254 words.

Please give a band score.
Thank you

Writing Feedback / leisure time essay; spending time equally useful for resting and for activities [3]

Topic: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activitiesthat improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles.Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

In this busy world most of the time people are engaged by their jobs or education and there is less leisure time for them. Therefore, the next question arises of how they should spend this time in a useful way? Some people believe that it is important to use the leisure time for activities that improve the function of the brain such as reading and solve word puzzles. Although, I have some sympathy with this idea, I believe that it is important to rest the mind during this period as well. I shall go on to suggest that this ways of spending the leisure time can be equally used.

Certainly, in this modern world most of the goals by people are accomplished through their mind work. Therefore to maximize their results they can use their leisure time to progress towards intellectual aspect. For example, solving the word puzzles improves concentration and expands your knowledge and reading books widens vocabulary and speaking capabilities. Consequently the positive aspects which are brought by these activities will have favorable effects on their studies and career growth.

Nevertheless, it not unreasonable that some people think that it is essential to rest their mind during the leisure time. In fact, many people get stressed and their minds fill with many problems while studying and working. Therefore, these negative aspects should be removed in some way, thus, watching TV or sleeping will refresh their minds.

In conclusion, it would be excellent if people use their time equally useful for resting and for activities. Balancing them will also benefit the physical health of people as the mind state and the physical state relate to each other strongly.

What do you think is the band score of this essay