barrywu
May 14, 2012
Book Reports / 40 minute essay question on `Lord of the Flies` re civilisation. [2]
Golding suggests, through the characters and events of this novel that actingcivilised {it is spelled: civilized} is a custom that is adopted by society,{;} however he also suggests that civilisation {it is spelled: civilization} itself may not be as strong as some would like to think.
=> itself is a pretty weak word. Please consider on using another diction.
Your word phrasing is awkward, since I cannot 100% catch on to what your are trying to express.
Let me try to help you get started:
In the novel The Lord of the Flies, Golding presents civilization through many different symbols, characters and events.
Even though civilization is adopted by society, being civilized is not as powerful as some people think.
Brother, you need to do a quick spell check since you have many "civilized" spelled wrong. "Civilization" is another major factor.
At first {Where? From the beginning of the novel?},we see {We do not "see", we "read"} Golding present (s) civilisation as something that binds all the boys to a sense of right and wrong {Try considering this: From the beginning of the novel, Golding presents civilization as a binding force, giving the boys in the novel a sense of morality.}. In chapter one the first thing Ralph and Piggy suggest is "we should have a meeting". {Try this: In chapter one [,] Ralph and Piggy suggested to the other boys that "we should have a meeting."} That this comes to Ralph so instinctively suggests that they are used to a world of order and communication. {Awkward, mate, this is actually a fragment!} This is further proven by Ralph announcing to the other boys that they must have "hands up, like at school". {Awkward, mate, this is actually a fragment!} Piggy is insistent on taking names and this sense of giving everyone an identity connects them further to civilisation. {Piggy's consistent name taking and giving each boy an identity further connects everyone toward civilization.}
I gave you a bit of help, but I hope you can make some changes so that I can reread it!
Your ideas and concepts are great; however, there are some punctuation errors, grammar errors and some sentences run "off the wall."
Thanks!
Golding suggests, through the characters and events of this novel that acting
=> itself is a pretty weak word. Please consider on using another diction.
Your word phrasing is awkward, since I cannot 100% catch on to what your are trying to express.
Let me try to help you get started:
In the novel The Lord of the Flies, Golding presents civilization through many different symbols, characters and events.
Even though civilization is adopted by society, being civilized is not as powerful as some people think.
Brother, you need to do a quick spell check since you have many "civilized" spelled wrong. "Civilization" is another major factor.
At first {Where? From the beginning of the novel?},
I gave you a bit of help, but I hope you can make some changes so that I can reread it!
Your ideas and concepts are great; however, there are some punctuation errors, grammar errors and some sentences run "off the wall."
Thanks!