Writing Feedback / IELTS: wellbeing at work [2]

Can somebody help me with comments and a probable score?
Many thanks in advance

Topic : As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

There are no doubts that one of the worst things that can happen is to be obligated to make things which do not bring pleasures to us. This is exactly the situation that people who do not enjoy their job suffer, day-by-day.

People choose their jobs taking account a lot of criteria. However, there is a big trend to consider salary as the most important one. Surely, it is very relevant and there are no arguments that can be used against this fact. At the same time, many people do not realize what is the real price that they are paying in order to receive such high salaries. For example, imagine an employee who is very well remunerated, but at the same time he cannot hold anymore the disgusting place where he works or the unpleasant tasks that he is expected to do. It is very likely that this person does not live a tasteful life, even though his high salary.

Nevertheless, sometimes, by choosing a job that proposes a lower income is possible for a person to live a much more enjoyable life. I know a lot of professionals who consider their jobs as the most pleasant task of their lives. For example, a pilot while working is traveling and knowing other places, by free!

Of course, even though, people choose their job contrasting the advantages and disadvantages concerned to it, there are cases in which the expectations are not matched. In these cases a deep analyze must be done in order to understand where the main problems are. Perhaps it can be the place, or the people or even the tasks that can be completely different from what was in the worker's mind, when he chose that job.

Anyway, for sure, the job satisfaction is a key question in our wellbeing. I personally think that all features must be studied when choosing a job. The ambient of the work, the salary, the tasks that will be expected from you, etc.

Indeed, in my opinion, no matter what happens, if you are not feeling well in your job, you must try to change this situation, as soon as possible.

Writing Feedback / 'boy/girl sports activities' / 'leaving home country for abroad' -Ielts writing tasks [2]

Hi everybody!!

I am studying in order to take the IELTS exam. I would really appreciate if one could see my essays and guess a score for them!!

Thanks so much!!

The two pie charts depict the percentage of young male and female people which share their spare time joining in cultural and leisure activities.
It is clearly seen that boys are much more interested in computer games than girls (34% against 16%), while girls enjoy reading in an extremely higher way than boys (21% against 2%).

The highest percentage of the graph is related to sport activities, in the boys' case (54%). This number is almost three times as much the summing of the slices regarded to listening to music and reading (10% and 2%, respectively).

It is interesting to note that the shares related to sport activities and related to listening to music showed by the second graph (the girls' one) are very similar to the figures illustrated by the boys' graph. In the girls' case, 53% are related to sports and 10% are dedicated to listening to music.

Finally, it is important to note that sports activities in boys' case include Basketball, Soccer and Skateboarding and regarding to girls it encompass Gymnastics, Dancing and Netball.

Many people leave their home country in order to try a different style of life abroad. This behavior can be seen through distinct views and also has advantages and disadvantages.

Living far away from our family and our friends can be a very challenger task. It is very likely that people who are living in different countries feel a lot of homesickness. Also, when living in unknown countries, sometimes, we need to adapt ourselves to the local culture, what can be a hard process. For example, people can suffer a lot in countries where foods are completely different from the ones that they are used to eat. In the same way, the weather can be a problem. Imagine how terrible is for a Brazilian, who lives with a 30C average temperature, to live in a European country, where usually it occurs temperatures below 0C.

On the other hand, by living in a different country, we can earn in a lot of aspects. By knowing different places and people, it is possible to improve our cultural baggage. Maybe, it can be an excellent opportunity to work in a job where a big amount of knowledge can be acquired. For example, in developed countries the industries use technological tools that are not used in other countries. To know this news can be very fruitful. Perhaps, in a foreign country, it is possible to find a job that pays higher salaries than the salaries that are paid in our home country. It can be a nice way to improve the income during a period.

Finally, we must recognize that living abroad can be a challenger and difficult experience. However, it is also likely that many good opportunities happen. Surely, when in a different country from our home country, we need to be prepared to face the hard moments in the best way and also we must be aware to enjoy all the amazing opportunities that a situation as this can offer.