msrunnergrl
Jul 29, 2012
Graduate / 'the relationship between man and medicine' - Physician Assistant school narrative [2]
1st paragraph
Good hook. I learned early in the second sentence is awkward phrasing. The third sentence implies that you already have skills to help and be an assistant. The last sentence can be condensed. maybe ' I want to be a physician's assistant because I understand their importance and how their niche fits in with the entire medical team. But then you would need to go on about how you know.
2nd paragraph
Be very careful how you phrase the whole family bit. Stating that family life is not good w/ medical school is not accurate. Do not put in opinions that look down on other things. Just stop at the fact that being a PA allows autonomy, which makes family life easier. But even then, give an example of how.
3rd paragraph
Very good. I did not find anything I would change
4th paragraph
The last paragraph just seems to jump to you positive points. Maybe you could transition to the last paragraph while relating to your title again?
But overall it is really good. Good luck!
1st paragraph
Good hook. I learned early in the second sentence is awkward phrasing. The third sentence implies that you already have skills to help and be an assistant. The last sentence can be condensed. maybe ' I want to be a physician's assistant because I understand their importance and how their niche fits in with the entire medical team. But then you would need to go on about how you know.
2nd paragraph
Be very careful how you phrase the whole family bit. Stating that family life is not good w/ medical school is not accurate. Do not put in opinions that look down on other things. Just stop at the fact that being a PA allows autonomy, which makes family life easier. But even then, give an example of how.
3rd paragraph
Very good. I did not find anything I would change
4th paragraph
The last paragraph just seems to jump to you positive points. Maybe you could transition to the last paragraph while relating to your title again?
But overall it is really good. Good luck!