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Posts by msrunnergrl
Joined: Jul 29, 2012
Last Post: Aug 14, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

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msrunnergrl   
Jul 29, 2012
Graduate / 'the relationship between man and medicine' - Physician Assistant school narrative [2]

1st paragraph
Good hook. I learned early in the second sentence is awkward phrasing. The third sentence implies that you already have skills to help and be an assistant. The last sentence can be condensed. maybe ' I want to be a physician's assistant because I understand their importance and how their niche fits in with the entire medical team. But then you would need to go on about how you know.

2nd paragraph
Be very careful how you phrase the whole family bit. Stating that family life is not good w/ medical school is not accurate. Do not put in opinions that look down on other things. Just stop at the fact that being a PA allows autonomy, which makes family life easier. But even then, give an example of how.

3rd paragraph
Very good. I did not find anything I would change
4th paragraph
The last paragraph just seems to jump to you positive points. Maybe you could transition to the last paragraph while relating to your title again?

But overall it is really good. Good luck!
msrunnergrl   
Jul 29, 2012
Undergraduate / 'the struggles my family faced' - My Ethical dilemma [3]

"Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."

Freud believed that the human mind and personality were shaped all before a person turned five. My own experiences that have shaped me into who I am today all ironically began right after I turned five. The year I was five meant many changes for me: a new home in a different continent, a different culture- a different lifestyle altogether. However one thing remained constant; my parents never condoned behavior that would hurt someone else, regardless of personal benefits. They raised and disciplined me to understand and differentiate the difference of right from wrong, no matter how grey and undefined the situation may be.

A challenge that faced me most of my childhood was the aspect of money. Both my parents worked hard and were well educated, but being first generation immigrants put them at a disadvantage, and the companies that would accept a rookie worker from a different country were not the most honest either. The most vivid memory I have of my parents is when the company that my father worked for was revealed to be somewhat of a fraud and tens of thousands of dollars that were signed to my father for his work were gone. Every night before I fell asleep, my father would come out and continuously call his past employer hoping for a response.

I felt responsible that my family was in such desolate position: a basement for living space, my mother's depression, etc. So when the aspect of money presented itself to me, I was overjoyed. Initially, I found $50 outside my second grade classroom, and I was happy to present my parents with something. As the day continued, I overheard one of my classmates telling the teacher that he lost money, and quite a lot too for a second grader. My teacher of course chastised him for carrying so much money on him, but then thoroughly searched the classroom for any money. When nothing was found, I understood that the money I found was not mine to being with.

All I remember thinking was I need the money more; my parents can use it better. In the end, I slipped the money into the boy's desk during lunch. I don't exactly remember why-I just knew it was the wrong thing to do. And even if I did take the money, looking back, I most likely would have turned myself in out of guilt and my parents would have explained the rights and wrongs of this situation. But I am proud that I turned it back despite whatever struggles my family and I faced. I learned that morals are important, and such situations only make a person stronger.

At this point in my life, financial struggles are no longer as imminent, but the struggles my family faced are not forgotten. I know the value of hard work and money. I also know that despite how difficult a situation may be, there is always a way out- or at least a way to cope while holding onto morals and values.
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