"Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."
Freud believed that the human mind and personality were shaped all before a person turned five. My own experiences that have shaped me into who I am today all ironically began right after I turned five. The year I was five meant many changes for me: a new home in a different continent, a different culture- a different lifestyle altogether. However one thing remained constant; my parents never condoned behavior that would hurt someone else, regardless of personal benefits. They raised and disciplined me to understand and differentiate the difference of right from wrong, no matter how grey and undefined the situation may be.
A challenge that faced me most of my childhood was the aspect of money. Both my parents worked hard and were well educated, but being first generation immigrants put them at a disadvantage, and the companies that would accept a rookie worker from a different country were not the most honest either. The most vivid memory I have of my parents is when the company that my father worked for was revealed to be somewhat of a fraud and tens of thousands of dollars that were signed to my father for his work were gone. Every night before I fell asleep, my father would come out and continuously call his past employer hoping for a response.
I felt responsible that my family was in such desolate position: a basement for living space, my mother's depression, etc. So when the aspect of money presented itself to me, I was overjoyed. Initially, I found $50 outside my second grade classroom, and I was happy to present my parents with something. As the day continued, I overheard one of my classmates telling the teacher that he lost money, and quite a lot too for a second grader. My teacher of course chastised him for carrying so much money on him, but then thoroughly searched the classroom for any money. When nothing was found, I understood that the money I found was not mine to being with.
All I remember thinking was I need the money more; my parents can use it better. In the end, I slipped the money into the boy's desk during lunch. I don't exactly remember why-I just knew it was the wrong thing to do. And even if I did take the money, looking back, I most likely would have turned myself in out of guilt and my parents would have explained the rights and wrongs of this situation. But I am proud that I turned it back despite whatever struggles my family and I faced. I learned that morals are important, and such situations only make a person stronger.
At this point in my life, financial struggles are no longer as imminent, but the struggles my family faced are not forgotten. I know the value of hard work and money. I also know that despite how difficult a situation may be, there is always a way out- or at least a way to cope while holding onto morals and values.
Hi, I have a few suggestions :)
Freud believed that the human mind and personality were completely shaped all before a person turned five.
My own experiences that have shaped me into who I am today all ironically began right after I turned five.
(You could say: "Ironically, my experiences that shaped me began immediately after the age of five.")
The year I was five meant many changes for me: a new home in a different continent, a different culture- a different lifestyle altogether.
This sentence is a bit confusing, clear this up-- you mean to say you experienced a great shift in your lifestyle, home, and culture.
They raised and disciplined me to understand and differentiate the difference of right from wrong, no matter how grey and undefined the situation may be.
(this might sound better " ... even if the situation was grey and undefined")
Both my parents worked hard and were well educated, but being first generation immigrants put them at a disadvantage, and the companies that would accept a rookie worker from a different country were not the most honest either.
This sentence is a bit too long, consider changing it into 2 sentences.
So when the aspect of money presented itself to me, I was overjoyed.
I would re-word this sentence, because it is very important-- the turning point of your paper.
My teacher of course chastised him for carrying so much money on him,...
Maybe say this: "Of course, my teacher reprimanded him for carrying so much money."
Nice story, keep working on your grammar. Good luck in school :)
