Chiaroscuro_jr
Aug 14, 2012
Undergraduate / the "Barnardian" title - Barnard Transfer Essay [2]
(250-500 words) that address your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve OR why do you think Barnard College would be a good match for you
A VERY rough draft. I mostly would like someones opionion of whether I should change the approach or maybe work off a couple of ideas/sentences found here. Barnards my top choice so I'm, trying to do this perfect. Trying to include a little voice/personality, show my pride in the schools message and symbol and also explain why i didnt get in the first time around and why things are different now. I just need an approach to it...
Any input would be greatly appreciated!
P.S Btw if you think it would sound better with the paragraphs/sentences in a different order by all means let me know. Thank you!
Intellectual. Academic. Scholar.
These are words I strive to be empowered by.
Education is something I have always taken pride in and though my record may not portray it when it comes to my younger years, Queensborough has taught me that I am capable of accomplishing anything I set my mind to and I find that to be one of the most important revelations anyone could ever have. It isn't the same to just hear a spoken clichéd sentence than it is to realize and embrace the concept on your own.
Which is why I know and I can say with much certainty and reassurance to you that I have the ability to succeed at your institution. Barnard is a place that can challenge me and is the only place on Earth surrounded and filled with so much diversity all the while managing to create a concentrated and similar student body when it comes to women with the shared goal of learning and to succeeding and showing the world the things they are capable of.
I have used community college as a source for a second chance to show Barnard in a year and a half what I was not able to do initially with my four years of high school.
During my freshman cycle, the person I showed Barnard was not someone deserving of the "Barnardian" title. I portrayed weakness in every aspect of my application and lacked the pride and fortitude to gain the privilege of walking among Barnard's finest.
It has taken me time, longer than I am proud of, to have finally found myself and I am ready.
There are a collection of institutions that have the ability to embrace the concept of intellectualism but in my eyes none would do so as well and as amazingly as Barnard would. As a woman's college Barnard would give me all that I am looking for and MORE which I find so exciting! The Barnard community is one that undulates with pride and intelligence for it embraces the very essence of what it means to be a woman - a strong, brilliant, determined and persevering woman. I have striven to emulate the Barnard woman and in doing so I have worked to strengthen myself mentally and academically.
If given the chance to succeed through Barnard...
(250-500 words) that address your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve OR why do you think Barnard College would be a good match for you
A VERY rough draft. I mostly would like someones opionion of whether I should change the approach or maybe work off a couple of ideas/sentences found here. Barnards my top choice so I'm, trying to do this perfect. Trying to include a little voice/personality, show my pride in the schools message and symbol and also explain why i didnt get in the first time around and why things are different now. I just need an approach to it...
Any input would be greatly appreciated!
P.S Btw if you think it would sound better with the paragraphs/sentences in a different order by all means let me know. Thank you!
Intellectual. Academic. Scholar.
These are words I strive to be empowered by.
Education is something I have always taken pride in and though my record may not portray it when it comes to my younger years, Queensborough has taught me that I am capable of accomplishing anything I set my mind to and I find that to be one of the most important revelations anyone could ever have. It isn't the same to just hear a spoken clichéd sentence than it is to realize and embrace the concept on your own.
Which is why I know and I can say with much certainty and reassurance to you that I have the ability to succeed at your institution. Barnard is a place that can challenge me and is the only place on Earth surrounded and filled with so much diversity all the while managing to create a concentrated and similar student body when it comes to women with the shared goal of learning and to succeeding and showing the world the things they are capable of.
I have used community college as a source for a second chance to show Barnard in a year and a half what I was not able to do initially with my four years of high school.
During my freshman cycle, the person I showed Barnard was not someone deserving of the "Barnardian" title. I portrayed weakness in every aspect of my application and lacked the pride and fortitude to gain the privilege of walking among Barnard's finest.
It has taken me time, longer than I am proud of, to have finally found myself and I am ready.
There are a collection of institutions that have the ability to embrace the concept of intellectualism but in my eyes none would do so as well and as amazingly as Barnard would. As a woman's college Barnard would give me all that I am looking for and MORE which I find so exciting! The Barnard community is one that undulates with pride and intelligence for it embraces the very essence of what it means to be a woman - a strong, brilliant, determined and persevering woman. I have striven to emulate the Barnard woman and in doing so I have worked to strengthen myself mentally and academically.
If given the chance to succeed through Barnard...